gondaily
I truly think I'm obsessed with this. I find myself constantly thinking about how to optimize my life; more and more, I also find myself thinking about how to optimize my future. I think the latter is most important. I've been watching (binging) these videos by Ramit Sethi. Cool guy, solid advice. His big thing is this concept of "Your Rich Life". Now, I haven't read his book---wherein he details this rich life thing---but I've more or less gathered what it's supposed to be from his videos. Fundamentally, it's not complicated. It really boils down to not comparing yourself to others, and instead finding what you want your life to be like, and making a plan to get there. Perhaps most importantly, he thinks the plan should be for the now, as well; meaning you should live your rich life *now*, and live a *richer* life later. I think my rich life is chilling *ad eternum*. Perpetual chill, that's the kind of guy I am. Hence my obsession with early retirement. I think it's important to define what I mean by this, though. That's where the problems arise. I'm not so sure... I have fun watching YouTube, but it's because I have something to learn. I'm not watching *just* to watch---though it feels like that sometimes---but I'm learning, I'm taking in different viewpoints on these issues that I'm concerned with and trying to figure out the best approach for me. Still, what else is there. Cycling, sure... Reading, writing. I feel like I don't have many hobbies. Travelling, OK. I can see it though, in my---forgive the cringe---*mind's eye*. Yuck, I hate that idiom. I'm wearing baggy jeans, basketball shoes, and a brown sweater; I'm laying on the couch, half sleeping, half listening to an NBA podcast; my little brother built a family and I get to be the cool uncle; house paid off, a boat, I'm living on the islands; I fish for lunch and sometimes dinner, I have a small garden as well with cabbage, cucumber, tomatoes, shallots, and an orange tree; I buy lots of potatoes from my neighbour; occasionally, I'll travel out to Vietnam for three months and chill in Hoi An. That's the life I want. That's my rich life. Right now I'm focused on getting there. I'm trying to change my health so I can live longer, working on my PhD so I can get a solid job after, changing habits so I can become the person I want to be; and I'm saving like a maniac. Today it struck me that my rent might actually go up. It honestly hadn't occurred to me until today; goes to show how naïve I still am. I've had no indication that it might, but I just came to the realization that this price is likely not forever. It's fine, but it is annoying. This weekend was snack-city and overeating-city. Happens, happens. It's fine. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I did lose weight to 77.8 kg. 5 kg to go for my goal. It's OK, it's my cheat weekend. I'm determined to buy more fruit and whatnot these next two weeks and also to exercise more. My goal is 2 kg loss these next 2 weeks, let's see if I can do it. I'm also feeling that I'll finally respond to the increasingly large number of Slowly letters that I've been letting pile up...
Truly, sushi is just the best. I often think of an idealized life and food is rarely part of that, not in a significant way. I do think of the garden: potatoes, lettuce, an orange tree; but I don't ever actually imagine the cooking side of it. I think this may be because my favourite foods aren't really things that I'm willing to cook. I mean, maybe I can make sushi---probably I can make sushi---but I'd really rather leave that one to a professional. I might just be ignorant, not sure. Regardless, delicious sushi today. Got to catch up with a long-time friend, as well, which was great. Tomorrow I'll have lunch with my grandma again; another gigantic win for me. Set up a profile at a teaching website, hopefully I get some hits. I always think every photo of myself SUCKS, but I have to put something up. I wonder if the photo is actually bad or if I just hate looking at my own face; it's really hard to tell. I'll try to take a better pic soon to put up. I'll shave my beard and whatnot, try to get my hair nice and proper---that should be enough. I'm a bit nervous about getting a hit at all, to be fair, but I think I can do it. I'm charging 10 bucks an hour, which is reasonable, actually. The website gives us promotion for free until we get a match, and then we have to pay to stay up, but if we *don't* get contacted at all, they reimburse us! The price is rather reasonable too, just over 10 bucks a month! If I can do 2 hours per month, it's already worth it. If I can get good reviews, though, I'll probably up the price for other clients. Maybe not, I'll think about it. I'm getting ahead of myself, but the prospect of some extra income is rather nice.
I'm in a bit of a rut. Today, I failed in my productivity. Not entirely, but my willpower failed; I failed myself. Still, I think I'm building good habits, so I'll just trust the process and try to improve day over day. Also, really not feeling Slowly... The letters I've gotten are fine, but not incredibly interesting or inspiring. I wish they were different; then again, I don't know what I was expecting. I'm tired. Sushi tomorrow though, exciting.
Today, I feel like talking about things I like. I like music. One of my favourite artists, Tyler, the Creator, posted a new clip today on his YT channel. I'm happy about that, because it's pretty cool. It's for his new album, CHROMAKOPIA. I'm hyped! I also like food. I'm actually kinda hungry, right now... I know I don't need to eat, but it still does bother me. I'll weight myself Saturday morning, possibly Friday evening and eventually write about it. I do also like getting healthier. I like learning about other people. This Slowly thing has been pretty cool, though I think I should probably cater the people I talk to on there better. In everyday life, I talk to certain people. Well, in truth, I don't really talk to anyone in my everyday life, I guess, but when I do it's with people I like, so I should do the same on the internet. Today, I managed to control my impulses a bit better. It wasn't perfect, by any means, and it wasn't particularly impressive, but I did it. Slowly, I'm improving. I think this is how I should approach improving my life: step by step, day by day. Today is good, tomorrow will be better, the next day will be better yet. If I falter, and one day is worse, or the worst, then I'll just try to make the day after better again. I think I should stop checking my investments. I mean, it's not like I'll sell if it goes down, or buy more or something. I'm just checking because I'm nervous I might be wrong, I think. That's psychology, right there, and I really shouldn't do that. Logging in means I *could* fuck things up. Why even let that be a possibility? I'd rather not. My goal for tomorrow is to get some work done and to not check my investments. I can happily report today's lunch was good again, by the way. Not as good as the past few days---the tofu wasn't great, but the rice and veggies were divine---but I'm sceptical about tomorrow. It's chickpea stroganoff. What? Yeah, I mean, sure I guess. I don't know. Maybe it's great, I love chickpeas. It rained a lot today. Not thundering, terrible rain, but just a constant thick drizzle. It was sunny too, how was it even raining?! I got wet, but it was fine. Didn't eat snacks today. I'll try hard again tomorrow.
I've made the executive decision to cut snacks out of my diet. For a couple of days now, the lunch at the canteen has been incredible; looking at the menu tomorrow, this streak is likely to continue. I got a coupon for 15% off some chips, today, and I took it and went to buy some chips. After I ate them, I thought to myself that that had been a monumentally stupid decision. It was impulsive and just wrong. Not only did I not need chips, I didn't even really want chips. It cost me just over a euro, I could afford them, but I didn't need nor want to. Why did I do it? Well, because I like chips, that's why. They didn't even taste that good, especially with the stupidity of the purchase weighting on my mind. I could've bought bananas, or plums, or apples, or something else. There's oranges growing in the yard. I actually picked a couple big ones after eating the chips and just thought to myself, once again, how stupid of a purchase that had been. I could've just picked the oranges to begin with and skip the damned chips. These small habits, I wager, are a symptom of a big problem I have with self-control and discipline. I watched a YouTube video today that hammered that point for me, as well. I'm determined to change. For my future. I have things lined up. All I have to do is bat. I'll be trying really hard to hit, from now on. No excuses.
There was a bit of a meeting today. Annoying, but at least there was food at the end. I ate too many sweets... I can feel the calories! But I think it's OK to have a treat. It's free anyway. I also ate a small plate of more reasonable food, so hopefully I got enough nutrients into my system instead of just sugar. Today was a reasonable day. Lunch was delish. So, so delish. It was quinoa and sweet potato burgers with roasted potatoes and salad. I got to talk a little with my dad and my mom. I love doing that. Let me go back to lunch, actually. Holy crap. It was so good, I can't even describe it. It's something actually pretty similar tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it. The point is, when I stop having access to these things, I need need need to learn to cook this stuff. It's actually so good, and vegetarian! I loved my fit today as well. I like shoes, even though they're not fully worn in yet and hurt the back of my feet a little. It's OK, I guess, but not good enough for the weekend when I walk a lot more than usual. Today was a €2.40 day on food. So was yesterday. I actually already have everything bought until my next payday, save for some travels during the weekend which is €4.30. I'll have almost €50 left after all, this month. That's nuts. I can't wait to add everything up since my last paycheck to see how much I'm spending, actually. I might've made a mistake somewhere, but my full monthly expenses add up to only €365. To be fair, I got a discount on utilities, so really it's more like €380. That's still €70 under my high-end prediction. I'm saving almost €80 monthly that I'm not investing. Should I be investing it, or is it good to have that money for fun? To spend on some eating out, sometime. Or buy something nice. Or save up for something nice! It would only take a year to afford a laptop, and only 8 months for an electric bike... About a year for a more serious bike purchase. I'm tired.
It's only Monday, but I can't wait for the weekend. Next weekend, I'll eat sushi. I think that's the major thing for me. I really want to eat something deliciously good. Lunch today was tasty, but nothing too special. The tofu was absolutely *banging* though, it was crazy. I've never had tofu like that. It was rough and kind of dried out? Hard to explain, but the texture was amazing and it held lots of flavour. Really nice. Not sushi though. I ate 5 plums today, I think. 1 for breakfast (rarity) and 4 for dinner. I love it. It's an investment! Buying these slightly more expensive things really does end up being good. I don't regret my plum purchase at all. I do wonder about my caloric intake, however. I'm trying to lose weight, so how much do I care about this really... But still. I think I might've had only 1000 calories today. This is slightly concerning, as I'm not really hungry. I mean, I could eat, sure, but I could *always* eat. I've gotten used to the feeling of constant hunger, I can fight it. This is nothing more than that. 1000 calories though? The calories listed on the app for lunch say that it's 137 for the soup and 527 for the main course. 5 plums should be about 150. The bread was about 150 as well. In total, that's 964. The BMR calculators on the internet aren't particularly reliable, but they estimate my BMR at 1700-1800. I biked today too. Didn't really do anything else, to be fair, but still. When I put my pants on, I felt I could go for another hole. Also, speaking of holes, I think it's the ice tea giving me the shits. Not sure.
I decided to check out The Ramsey Show today. No particular reason; I'd heard about it many times before, but it was always pitched as this America-centric podcast that wouldn't really matter too much to me, but this time I decided to take a look. It's really nothing special, compared to everything else you find on the internet nowadays concerning finance. Save your money, don't get into debt, how to get out of debt, yada yada. It's good, it's solid. The one thing that's picking at me is the whole religious undertone. I have no idea where Mr. Ramsey came from, his background his story, whatever, but he talks about religion a lot. It's about spirituality, what church you go to, talking to your pastor. I'm not religious. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with religion---as a matter of fact, I'd argue that if religion gets people out of debt and into a better financial situation, that's a good thing---but I do think it's rather weird that he focuses on that so much. Maybe I just got a weird batch of videos, I don't know. Religion is very strong, it's an incredible tool, really, but I think it's wholly unnecessary. I have no religion and I can save, I can keep my head in the game. I don't need a god or a church. I need family, yes, a community, people I can look up to and talk to and discuss this with. I see the value in organized religion as a vehicle for social interaction, but it comes with so much baggage that, to me, it seems bloated. Moreover, it's dangerous. Sure, it comes with good things, but it comes with a lot of other philosophies that go way beyond finances. I definitely wouldn't prescribe religion as a cure or aid for debt, but Mr. Ramsey seems to be rather convinced it's at least a viable option. I know I'm talking about this from a very detached perspective. Truth be told, I don't really get religious people. I understand them, on a technical level, but not on a practical level. I guess, on one hand, I do get why he would mention it so often: he's religious. He believes in a religion and he believes sharing that religion is his duty and it's good, so he does it. Might I add, he's not being particularly obnoxious or anything, it's not offensive by any means, just noticeable. Determination is essential to financial freedom. I mean, you really have to take a good look at your finances to make the call that you can't afford this or that, or that you *don't want to* afford this or that because your priorities lay elsewhere. My parents, my mother in particular, was adamant that I rent an apartment, or at the very least a larger room. She even offered to cover my rent! Isn't that ridiculous? She offered me hundreds of euro monthly for me to rent an apartment. Look, I love my mum, but what the fuck. I told her no, on two fronts: I wasn't going to rent a bigger (more expensive) place myself, and I didn't want her help. I don't mind small things, she sometimes pays for my travels, for example, but my rent? I appreciate it, of course, and it would speed up this whole thing, but I've already taken so much from my parents that I just can't stand to keep doing it. I have money, so they don't need to be burdened any more. This feels so silly. Of course I know they would be happy to pay for me. I really live a privileged life, don't I? It just doesn't sit right with me, though. A few days ago, actually, I talked to my parents about buying that rice cooker. By the way, I'm still considering that purchase. I'm pretty sure my dad was offering to buy it for me, he just didn't want to say it. As a matter of fact, he told me I didn't need to change the paying information on Amazon. He said it just like that. In the immediate, I didn't realize that that's what he was implying---that he was willing to pay for me---so I just said something like "oh thanks, that's convenient, I'll just send you the money after then." Reasonable, right? No need to change payment information or anything, I use his card and then send him a payment with the price. Makes things simpler. But he was so obviously unhappy to hear that! He didn't say anything, but I could tell he didn't want me to send him money. I think it's similar to how I'm feeling towards them. I'm so thankful for everything they've given me, everyday I'm thankful, and so I just can't bare to rely on them so much. I don't want him to pay for my fucking rice cooker, he's already paid for so many grains of rice for me why the fuck would he pay for the cooker too?! He probably feels that, as my father, it's his responsibility to pay for my necessities. Sure, I'm all grown up and earning my money, but it's just a rice cooker, it's to improve my life, and so he has no problem forking over €20. And what, he needs his son to pay for €20?! He doesn't need that! I get it, I get it. It's great to have parents that care so much. I was tearing up writing that, by the way. I think that's what I need to keep this up. My parents are a reminder of what can be achieved. They have no debt, two homes, two healthy children, one of which is starting his education and the other who's making money. They're even starting to make some small investments now, thanks to my influence. My mum cashed out on about €400 in 3 months. That's a sixth of the minimum national salary. I'm not sure if she has enough saved up to actually just make the minimum national salary of the interest but she's not far off. Seeing this, I stay motivated to save. Whenever I share my passion with saving with the uninitiated, I get the same comment: don't forget to live. First of all, uh, duh?! Obviously. I know people are just looking out for me, and I really do appreciate it, but it does get a little obnoxious. I'm someone that thinks things through, especially the big things. It's not that I don't make mistakes or miscalculate, but forgetting to live would be a major miss. The miss of a lifetime, one might wager. This month (and by month I mean salary) I bought over €120 worth of stuff. Really just 2 things, the backpack and the shoes, but still that's quite a decent chunk of change. Had I invested that money, I would be up significantly right about now. But I value the things I bought, and I intend to keep valuing them, so I consider it money well spent. I checked the maths today and I think I'm safe. I had about €100 to spend and I sent €120 instead, pushing it, but I'm pretty sure I'm safely in the green. And by green I mean above the cushion in my checking account that I'd rather not dip under for whatever reason. So many arbitrary numbers... Silly, again, but I prefer to have that. For peace of mind. And we're back to religion. I do still have these rituals, these barriers and points of contact that I keep perfectly lined up for no reason other than peace of mind. It's psychological. Rituals are useful, but praying isn't. Praying is a ritual, and rituals are useful. That's where it ends, as far as I see it. I cleaned my room and did my laundry this weekend. It was nice. I also ate dry ramen for the first time, I think. Just boil the ramen, drain the water, and *then* add the seasoning. Two packets cost me 90c. Not bad, not bad. I also bought just over a €1 of fruit today, plums. I didn't eat them all today, so maybe I'll just have them for dinner tomorrow and save there. Not that I need to, mind you, the plums were well within my budget. They were under, actually, but it's just a nice thing that happened. I'm also eating lots of oranges. There's a tree in the garden of the house I'm renting at, very convenient. Lunch tomorrow seems delicious. I saved 2 meals from last week because I didn't have lunch at the canteen. I wonder about my weight. I look in the mirror sometimes and it's clear I've made progress, but it's hard to tell if I'm *making* progress. My arms are surprisingly muscular, actually. I noticed that today, or maybe last night, not sure. Something else is that I'm just itching to update my net worth. I have a little sheet on GDrive where I keep my finances lined up, but I told myself it was silly to update it everyday or even every month. I mean... That would add to the obsession, it's stupid. I don't need to focus so much on this. My limit was 6 months. Maybe that's too long, to be fair. Quarterly might be better, I don't know. But I said 6 months, so 6 months it is! Only in December, damn it... I'm curious, though. I saw this thing some time ago, I don't remember where or what they called it, but the idea was basically judging what the hypothetical max is that I could maybe save and then seeing how much I did save. It should help keep things in perspective, how much life really costs, and also keeping my greed in check. Comparing to these rich people out here getting paid a fortune in a day... That's just bad. I'm looking forward to it. I've been looking at shoes and shirts and pants. I really think I found my style. I hope to slowly build my wardrobe to fit it. I'll end up selling a bunch of shirts, I reckon. Vinted stardom, here I come! I started a Pinterest board. I plan to save 5 pins for each category of thing I want to wear in the future. Hopefully, I can look back on it to guide my purchases. Also, tomorrow I'll get a reply from the Slowly thing. Cool app, hopefully it's interesting. I'll get it mid-afternoon, I believe. Overall, feeling decently good. I'm not rich yet, and my income is low, but slowly and surely I'm getting closer to my goals. Speaking of that, I saw this post on Reddit about what the lean FIRE number should be. Right now, people said 500k was reasonable. That sounds a little crazy, but I don't know. If I had 500k today, I probably would retire, actually. The thing is, really, I don't! I have barely anything at all. When I'm 50, I can expect 500k to be 1.25M. Crazy... 500k today should yield some 1.5k/month, which is actually more than I have per month! Way more. I could travel lots, so much. At my current pace, I can expect to hit 500k in 20 years. In that time, 500k will be 1M. It feels like wealth is running away from me, it's nuts! Still, this isn't particularly upsetting. It's OK, and I really do think that I'll find ways to enjoy life on less as time goes on. Maybe I'm being naïve, maybe dangerously so, but who knows. There's this other experiment I like to do. If I get a decent job after I graduate that let's me save a little more per month, I can shorten this timeline so much. Not to mention, all this is being calculated with a notably high inflation rate of 3.5%. More realistically, I can get this done. I really think so. I'm still thinking about Vietnam quite a bit.
Ultimately, I've been concerned with politics more and more. Probably because I'm investing and I'll have to worry about paying taxes. Where I am, capital gains tax is relatively high, though under 30%. Now, I don't mind this. Personally, I love the idea of contributing to the national infrastructure, and have absolutely no qualms about cutting my gains for this. Now, it does *hurt*, don't get me wrong, but I get it and don't particularly mind it. I'm watching a video about the national budget, and while I don't like everything I'm hearing, I don't think it's too bad. I'm happy to see the government really isn't just a bunch of incompetence. Now, about Vietnam. Wild pivot, I know. I've been watching too many videos about Vietnam, the food, and specifically Hoi An. Holy crap that place is gorgeous. This is where frustration really kicks in... I live in such a cheap place to live. My country is fantastic and I could definitely retire here without worries. As a matter of fact, it's one of the top destinations world wide for retirees! Oh but Hoi An... There's this girl called Mai Pham on the red app. She's Vietnamese and filmed some vlogs in Vietnam a while back. I fell in love with the country without ever stepping foot in it! I remember a few years back when I was enamoured with Bhutan, but then learned more and more about the country and started throwing up in my mouth, or when I thought London was peak-living (hopefully no need to explain why I change my mind on this one), or rural China, or northern Scotland (this one I'm still big on, actually). Vietnam is in the honeymoon phase, right now. The big difference between Vietnam and all those other places is the *why* of my interest. It's price, of course. Vietnam is cheap as FUCK! Retiring there would be a piece of cake... If not for the lack of Visa! Damn it, Vietnam! Though of course... Marriage. I could get married to a Viet girl and move there no problem. Doable? Probably not, not for me anyway, I'm very aroace, but fuck it man I want to go there. A big issue with this kind of stuff is that, if I want to visit Vietnam, I have to pay to go there. Obviously, I need to visit before actually making a decision. I could easily stay there for three months, no problem, but staying longer is fucked. I'm making plans for 27 years in the future over here, Vietnam, help me out!
I've been thinking about upgrading some of my stuff. New lappie, new phone---that's all the stuff I have, pretty much. But then I think... Don't I already have a phone that works? Yes I do. I see all these promotions and deals and stuff, but why would I buy that?! Why would I spend money that I don't need to spend? Sometimes I feel so silly looking at these listings. I'll keep saving. I rejoined "Slowly" today. It's an app that matches you with people from all over the world and you send messages that take a long time to arrive based on how far away they are from you. I used it last 3 years ago and it was OK but I didn't like it that much. I'm really feeling this whole moving abroad thing though, so I felt it'd be cool to talk to some "foreigners." I'm rather hungry as I write this. No money spent on food today. I was hoping I could keep it that way but... Nah, I really need to eat something. I'll be careful though, with my purchase... I'll keep it under €2. Maybe some chips? I like the sound of that. We'll see. xoxo
My investments have now officially valued over 3%. This is huge, for me; I really feel like I'm getting closer and closer to my goal. I'm still only around 0.4% of the way there, but every step towards that goal feels amazing. I haven't looking at my current life situation as a sacrifice, but as I've reflected on it I have come to see it that way. Objectively, I could rent an apartment, instead of a room; there's actually one available right now pretty close by with access to a pool and a garden. I could easily, easily afford that. But instead I'm only paying a third of the cost for a room. I could be eating much better and more comfortably; sushi on my own dime, pizza, some Burger King. Instead, I eat at the canteen and tunamayo sandwiches for dinner. Sure, I've made some purchases. I have actually eaten at Burger King a few times, McD's too. But in total I've strayed from the ideal maybe... €150 worth? €120 of which are new shoes and a new backpack, which I intend to use to death. I'm saving about 63% of my income every month. That's *a lot*, especially considering I don't really make that much at all. I'm sacrificing a lot. I just happen to be someone that can live pretty well off not much, I have a lot of support and encouragement from my family, and I have a clear goal in mind. I'm striving towards that, so I can handle this. I do wonder though, how nice it would be to live in an apartment by myself, go workout at the gym or swim in the pool. But that's not the way I'm gonna reach my goals, so it's not the way I'm gonna live. This goal I talk about... I haven't really defined it very clearly, have I? I want to be a millionaire. Not because being a millionaire is cool or whatever, but because I've calculated that that's how much I need to retire safely at any age. Meaning that, no matter how old I am, as soon as I hit those 7 figures, I'm gone. The actual number is slightly slower than 1 million, actually, but it's easier to talk about it this way. Also, I'm actually more than 0.4% of the way there, but once again I cut things broadly so I can be safe. I prefer to be wrong because I have too much than because I have too little. This million though, what can I do with it. That's the big question, the way I see it. I'd probably want to buy a house, but the problem is that I can't predict how much a home will cost when I read it, I can't even predict when I'll reach it! At my current pace, that'll be when I'm 50. I'm fine with that, more than fine. If I can retire earlier than my parents, I'm happy; I feel like that's what it's all about, really. But I will almost certainly hit it earlier. I don't want to earn this much forever. I want to advance my career and earn more money. I actually did some funny math, some time ago. It was very rough, but not particularly optimistic: if I can increase my monthly investments by 50% of my current investments every 5 years, I can shave 5 years off my retirement. This means that I can retire by 45. That's really not crazy, especially if I emigrate, which is likely. Regardless, I feel like thinking about all that isn't too helpful nor satisfying. Instead, I want to focus on what I'm actually gonna do with the money. Well, first of all, I'm not gonna spend much of it at all! The whole point of having that much money is to keep it invested so it can keep growing. Still, there's a few things I want to buy. When I first spoke to my grandma about this---she didn't even believe that I meant to do this by the way, she didn't understand that I might want to retire as early as possible---she immediately thought I wanted to buy a house. At the time, I laughed at the idea. Maybe I didn't literally laugh in her face, but I did reject it. After a long time thinking, I just thought that it wasn't worth it. Why would I spend so much money buying a house, when I could just rent an apartment instead? The difference isn't much, and an apartment allows me much more flexibility with much less effort. I've thought this over, since then, and I've come to the conclusion a house would be nice. Maybe I'm being silly, I can't quite tell. Here's the pros, as I see them: - No landlord worries - Rent won't increase - It's an investment - I can feel settled in - It's a symbol of what I've achieved Basically, it's less worrisome overall, though more expensive. That last point though... Am I stupid? A symbol? What do I care about a symbol?! But really, I want it. Something I can point to and say "see, it worked!" A place I can *really* call home. Specifically, I wanted to go back home, to the islands. Houses are cheaper there too. It'd be amazing. I love the people, I love the environment, the clean air and the sea. The big problems don't even apply as much now as they did growing up. There's lots of fast delivery stuff like Amazon, the internet is good now. Sure, there's no fast food places, but who cares?! There's good food! I love fish, I mean, come on. It'd be awesome. The only real issue would be travel. Travelling in and out of the island is tough, and it'll likely always be tough, but also just going from place to place is hard. You pretty much *need* a car there. There's electric cars and bicycles, that's a possibility, but it's still tough, overall, to go and just live like that there. It's never too hot or too cold, but when it rains it *rains*. I think it's doable, I think I'd like it, but who knows. There's also the cons, of course: - More expensive in the short term - Less flexibility with moving around That's it, pretty much, but that first point is a good one. I can't afford to spend a lot upfront, that's the negative part of my plan. It's hard to make *huge* purchases because I need the money to be invested. Even if it's cheaper in the long run, I'd rather have the money *now* so it can grow than *not* have it. I'll keep thinking about it, I do have a long way to go still. Something else I've been thinking about is emigration. I'll almost certainly emigrate at some point, yes, but that's for work. For settling down, I always imagined myself in one of three places: somewhere in the city, back home, or Vermont, USA. Why Vermont? No idea. I just think of the state as a big forest, really, and I love the idea of living in the middle of nowhere in a mansion. The more I learn about the USA though, the less I want to live there, so I'm probably cutting that one out. The problem with the city option is that it's expensive. Buying a small apartment is gonna run me about as much as a large home back home, though it will have a lot of convenient benefits. Back home though, that's heaven. I grew up in heaven, looking back, marvellous place. There's a fourth, secret option though. Get citizenship or a Visa somewhere else with a much lower cost of living and just move there. Living in Thailand or something. Or somewhere else, really, there's lots of destinations that I could aim for. Nepal. I'm strongly considering that, more and more. That way, I could retire even earlier, maybe at 40. I don't know. Still, it's interesting to think about. And with that, I'm done.
I'm feeling inspired to learn Japanese. I've been learning Japanese for a while, on and off. I have a basic understanding of the language, but not really enough to talk to anyone about anything other than the most basic of things and not for very long and not very fast. I'm a bit better in writing (digitally) but not my much really. Maybe I'll get to it. Lunch was great today, but I didn't feel so good overall.
I missed yesterday. gondaily? More like... gonsometimesly! BOOM ROASTED! But seriously. It completely slipped my mind. Totally. To be fair to myself, I was abnormally exhausted yesterday. I couldn't even watch the stream! I was running on wisps, if that makes sense. As such, I also didn't have much happen, yesterday. I was too exhausted to do anything! Here's today though: I fixed my breaks! Well, temporarily, probably. My back brake on my bike (bbb alliteration there) has been problematic for a while. I tighten it and it's great, but overtime it gets looser and looser to the point it doesn't break any more. A pain in the ass is what that is. I can live with it because the front brake is very reliable, but it's still scary to ride around knowing half of your breakage apparel simply doesn't work. For now, it's great. We'll see how it goes. Wore my shoes and jeans with the belt! Oh I'm serving, I'm slaying in these fits! Actually. I feel really good, though a little self-conscious... I think I look good, but I'm always scared people think I look silly with the oversized pants and the chunky shoes... I like it though, and I think that's what really matters. Here's the thing though, and this is both a bad and a good thing. This has inspired me to pursue fashion a little more seriously. I love these shoes and jeans, and I love jeans now as I've hopefully been making clear over my many posts, so I've been thinking of ways to optimize that sneaker-jeans combo. I think the answer might be brown sweaters. HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT!!! I know... I'm colourblind, what do I know about brown! I only wear Ts, what do I know about sweaters. Well, first of all, rude! But second of all, I'm a notorious Pinterest enjoyer. I know I don't look it, I know I don't write it, but it's true. I love looking at cute girls and cool buildings, sue me. Regardless, I think brown sweaters look really good with jeans. The one issue I have is that they look better with tighter fitting pants. I think a straight fit is fine, but an oversized fit like I'm wearing is maybe too much. I'm not sure why, and to be fair I haven't really seen this worn out, but I just feel it. Naturally, I don't own brown sweaters. The colour palette of my clothes is black, grey, white, and dark blue so dark it looks black or grey. I have 1 (one) T that has a little bit of wine. Like a dark red that looks almost black. Well, to me anyway I'm red-green colourblind so maybe it's more intense to others but I can barely tell it's not black. Maybe I'm crazy. But I don't think so, I feel like light-blue jeans, sneakers, and a brown sweater is a look. It's a look, I'm telling you. Sorry if this is painfully obvious and the most common fit ever put together in the history of fashion. I'm new here. The autocorrect on here keep annoying me with trainers over sneakers because it's British. I wore my Scrooge McDuck socks today. Feeling cash money. Speaking of which---iconic segue by me right here---my mom shared her investments with me today. She started investing three months ago (to the day) because I talked to her about it. She put it in some short-term bonds and made a decent chunk of money. Way more than I have in my measly 3 months... Then again, she put it way more than me way earlier than me. Regardless, I'm very happy she liked it. I don't want her to get into anything even remotely risky, but this stuff is very safe, so I think it's great for her. If my parents keep doing this they can fund some nice trips or bigger purchases. This is fantastic. I'm really happy. I've been feeling good. I don't know if I mentioned this already but I lose weight. I've been trying to lose weight for a while now, basically since I moved I've been going hard at it. I started somewhere around 87kg I think? Maybe closer to 90, but now I'm at 78. That's in about 3.5 months. I feel really good with my progress. That's it, for now. Hopefully tomorrow there's more.
I got home drenched; dripping, as if poured from a jar. Cold too, which was the real problem. Took my clothes off and a shower, everything's good now. My backpack held up well in the ravenous weather. Everything got home dry, except for me. I feel like I have things to say, but I'm tired. Hopefully tomorrow.
I ate sushi today. It was great :D as per usual. We're regulars at the restaurant, I'm pretty sure the managers know our faces, they always greet us warmly. Spent some time with my brother and grandma, it was great. Also watched a stream today, fantastic as well. Feel good. Not much else to report, unfortunately.
Just got home. I'm terribly exhausted. I lost weight, which is great! I'm closer to my goal, which is 72kg. Maybe I'll go lower, we shall see. I weighted myself after getting a drink and something to eat and was at about 79.5kg, which likely means that my weight in the morning (which is when I usually weight myself, for consistency's sake) will be lower, which means I'm safely in the 70s. Very proud of my progress. And with that, today's entry ends.
Today was a good day! The stream was a little worse than usual because the streamer was exhausted, she's been having a bit of a rough time lately, but other than that I had a great time. For one, lunch was good. Not great, still, but it was good. The tofu was a bit bland, to be honest, but it was good enough, and the rice the came with it was fantastic. The soup was also great, I actually really enjoyed it---I'm not a soup person but it was delicious. The only *actual* issue with lunch today was the fruit. Admittedly, I could've picked an apple instead of the orange, but god that was a terrible orange. I have never had a drier orange, and I mean that. Still, it was good overall. I got both my backpack AND my shoes! Weirdly, the backpack arrived *before* the shoes and the delivery experience was much better, as in, I actually got delivered the package instead of it simply being delivered to some shop that I then had to go to to get. Sorry about the terrible construction of the previous sentence. Regardless, the products are as expected. Sizes are right, construction quality is right, everything is good in the world, except for the bad parts of course. My ReVanced YT broke today, for some reason. Weird, but things happen, maybe I fucked something up I guess. Whatever the reason, I just uninstalled and repatched. Works again. Tomorrow I go back north. Sushi on Saturday... I get to see my little brother... Truly nice. I'll flex on him so hard with my new backpack and shoes. YO!
Canteen lunch today was garbage, though it was an unfortunate situation and a major blunder by yours truly. I bought the vegetarian meal as it seemed to me, by the description, to be the best of the bunch. The fish meal was something I'd had before and hadn't thoroughly enjoyed, so naturally I gravitated towards the other option. As I made my way across the counter, I noticed four people in a row asking for the vegetarian option. Now, seeing four people ask for the vegetarian option would already be odd, but not only were all of them in front of me and in sequence, but only two of them were together! That's right, three independent groups of people asking for the vegetarian meals. Not to mention myself, of course. I would've been the fifth. The issue was that the vegetarian meal tray was already low on food, and the sudden onslaught of vegetarians really tore it down to nothing---or basically nothing. So much so, that I was afraid that, were I to pick it, I would be relegated to a measly meal, instead of what I paid for and was rightfully owed. Maybe that wouldn't have been the case, I'll never know, but I didn't want to risk it. I was terribly hungry, at the time. So, I chose the fish meal. There are basically two types of fish meals at the canteen: has fish, is fish. Sometimes we get something like pasta with tuna or a fish lasagna, those are in the first category; other times, we get pieces of fish *accompanied* by something, like sardines with rice, for example. That's what it was supposed to be, today, but instead I got some other weird fish with boiled potatoes. I've got nothing against potatoes, mind you---as a matter of fact, I prefer potatoes to rice---, but these potatoes were not great. They were cold and hard. Not only that, but the fish itself was cold too! Now, my next complaint is a personal gripe: there was an onion and tomato sauce drenching everything. I like raw tomatoes, I like raw onions, but that *thing* is disgusting, I struggle to eat, I struggle to even look at it! I realize this is personal taste, so I'm not docking points for it, but it was still terrible for me. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the fish was more bone than fish. Every bite had a bone, every fucking bite. I tried to pick them out but it was impossible, they were small but so hard, and hard to find. It ruined the meal. To throw salt into the wound, they threw a slice of green pepper into my salad. I hate peppers. I realize I sound a bit whiny and maybe ungrateful, the canteen is a great environment, everyone there works hard, and they provide complete and varied meals for all students at a very affordable price. Moreover, I didn't even choose what I actually wanted. Still, it left a bad taste in my mouth (pun intended). Tomorrow I'll *have* to go veggie, if I go to the canteen at all (which is very likely). It's tofu. Looking forward to it; the last time I had that there it was really, really good. I was also starving at the time, if I remember correctly, but still. Only real issue is the rain. It's been raining like crazy the whole day and I expect the downpour to continue tomorrow. It would be a real pain in the ass to go there just to get drenched, but the food might just be worth it. Then again, maybe not. Did some math and turns out I spent almost €27 this past week (since last Wednesday) on food. That would add up to around €115 per month. Some €12 (by far the biggest single chunk) there does include €4.80 that haven't been spent yet. Still, €115 for now. If I account for everything, my expenses are coming out to less than €450 per month. That leaves just about €800 for investing, which sucks. I wanted to do €800, but I also wanted to keep some money to buy other stuff. And I do, to be fair, about 10 bucks, and there's also some other money that comes in occasionally from my family for various reasons, and I'm estimating utilities on the high side side. Still, it's a tight budget, the way I see it. What I'm getting at is that this small money that I'm spending at the canteen matters and I'd like it not to be trash.
I didn't have dinner today. I wonder why... I usually get hungry later in the night, but today I didn't. I suspect this has something to do with 2 things: firstly, I drank a fuckton of water---really, a lot of water---, and secondly, I drank lemon flavoured water. I suspect the flavour made me less hungry. Could this be a win? Maybe, maybe. There's also the calories in the flavouring, it was very sweet though not too caloric. I must've had something like 1100 calories today. Lunch was just OK, squid stew and pea soup (I think). It was good but not great, you know? That's it for today.
My room is always dusty, for some reason. I tried to look things up online, hoping someone would clue me in to what's going on, but I didn't get very far. My best guess is that I'm keeping my window open? I don't think I live in a particularly dusty place, but they are doing some renovating next door, though it's on the opposite of the building that my window faces so I'm not sure that's it. Regardless, it's been getting on my nerves. I watched a livestream today, it was great as usual. We played two games on live and I won both! There was trivia and luck involved in both cases. I'm happy with my performance. I also got an email confirming my shoes are being shipped! Great. I'm really excited still. Other than that, I'm feeling fine, not great. I installed Vinted and have been exploring second hand clothes a little. I can find some nice items for cheap, but I've held back on pulling the trigger. For one, I'm aware that these websites have scams and I really want to avoid that. How much can we trust the sellers star rating, I wonder---I should really look that up before making a purchase. Still, I can find 501s in my size for some €30! That's crazy cheap. This whole thing has also gotten me thinking about doing some clothes' modification, specifically shortening the pant legs. I can find plenty of jeans in my waist size, but the length is often too long. How expensive would it be to get someone to shorten the legs for me? And could I do it myself?! I don't have a sewing machine or anything, so I doubt that's particularly feasible. Still, as I said, I held back on purchasing anything. Yes, they might feel like a deal, but I don't need them. There's other things I want to buy anyway that I should be prioritizing. I got shoes, I got a backpack. I'm thinking of buying a rice-cooker next. My brother has a plastic one that he just puts in the microwave, it's sooo convenient! I'm strongly considering getting something similar. Also, there's the Raspberry Pi I wanted to buy... I haven't felt the need as much any more, which is a great example of why I shouldn't make rash purchases. Even these shoes I ordered... Yes, I need new shoes, this is true, but damn I'm just... I don't know. Hopefully I don't come to regret it. Perhaps I should just make a list... The problem with making a list is, of course, that it'll never end. There's always an upgrade, isn't there? I sigh, and I suffer. Still, let's try! - Rice cooker - Jeans - Belt hole Not sure if I just lost weight or if it was like this from the start and I just didn't notice at first, but I definitely need another hole in my belt. Maybe 2. I actually think that's pretty much it, for now at least. Of course, there's the laptop, but this is fine for now. I'm not sure if I mentioned this yesterday, but I ate tunamayo sandos. Very delish. Here's the extreme KICKER!!! I ate again today! But I only bought once. THIS is why I want that damn rice cooker. I bought a can of tuna, one of those bigger 250g cans. It lasted 2 days, that's three meals because today's lunch was at the canteen---pretty tasty by the way, some sort of bean and lentil ball with weird spaghetti (whole-wheat spaghetti?!). With the rice cooker I can buy rice instead of bread which is MUCH cheaper. We're looking at €1.25/kg of rice vs €1.63/kg of bread. Of, course, this is very misleading on two fronts. Firstly, that's raw rice. Cooked rice is much heavier because of the water, a good bet is that it doubles in weight so you can slice that price in half. Secondly, just because I buy rice doesn't mean I *don't buy* bread. The point of this is variety. I make an investment that allows me to expand my culinary endeavours, which will, in the long-term, save me money, and in the short-term, improve my mood! Variety is the spice of life, after all. Speaking of which, I should buy salt as well. By the way, salt is almost offensively cheap. How is it so cheap, it's crazy, it's insane. 25c for a freaking kilo?! Insane. The next thing to think about, of course, is what to pair the rice and the bread with. Tunamayo is good and all, but is that all there is to it? I'm pescatarian and on a tight budget so my options are surprisingly limited. The cheapest can of tuna I can find runs me €6.21/kg, which is not nice at all. I can get sardines for only €5.33, which is huge. There's also beans, which I'll think about and consider. Hopefully this weekend I'll get my hands on the rice cooker. And with that, I'm out.
I feel very nice. I took my laundry off the drying rack and it felt really nice. I shaved and my skin did OK---it usually does terribly because my skin sucks. I'm excited for my deliveries next week, I'm *really* hoping I get both. I've now ordered three things independently: a pack of playing cards, the backpack, and the shoes. Kinda sounds like the beginning of a bad joke; me saying that is a meta-joke because saying "sounds like the beginning of a bad joke" is a bad joke, by the way, don't think I'm unaware. I specifically want to get the backpack... I ordered it because my old one is busted and I'll be travelling on Friday. They say 4-8 days, but I believe they also said to order before Monday or something to get next-day? That makes no sense, maybe I dreamed this. Not sure, but PLEEEEEASE let me get it this week. Even if I don't, it's OK, of course it's OK, but it is a pain in the butt. Whatever. At least the shoes should come on Thursday. My housemates have been clogging the fridge and taking my space. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind as I barely use my space anyway, but I've recently decided to buy some tuna for sandwiches. I need space. I may need to have a talk with them. Hopefully I don't. We'll see how things go this week. Feeling a bit tired now. I'm really passionate about having a pleasant life, I think that's what defines me. I like having little to no worries. That sounds obvious and universal, but you'd be surprised how much people enjoy getting into conundrums and complications. Watching all these fashion videos recently I'm just... Taken aback, by some people's obsession with trends. Isn't that silly? I find it very silly, then again, I'm me so how would I know what's silly or not for anyone else. I don't mean to sound higher-than-thou. My dream isn't to find the next great shoe or the next cool brand, it's to find a nice shirt I can buy 15 of. If there's a shirt I love and think is perfect, I want 15 of them, one for every day of the week, then seven more in case I can't so laundry for some reason, and one extra for laundry day. Socks, briefs, pants, shoes... I feel the same about everything. I want *the one piece*. THE ONE PIECE?! Yes, voice in my head as I write this, the one piece of clothing that perfectly suits my taste and needs. It's hard to think of every possible kind of garment that might suit me. There's the short sleeve white T, of course. I'm big on dark colours so I also want the short sleeve T in black. Same thing with cold-weather sweaters. General socks and cold-weather socks, I suppose. Briefs are just briefs. A wind-breaker, a warm-weather raincoat and a cold-weather raincoat, maybe. Light jeans, dark jeans. Hot weather shoes, general shoes, and wet shoes. Hat. Light jacket and warm jacket. Grey sweatpants, grey sweatshorts (you know what I mean). I can't really think of anything else, to be honest. It'd just be a matter of finding the ideal piece for each of these categories and getting duplicates. Maybe I'm bonkers. Saw someone on Reddit today say that they felt behind on their finances because they're 35, live in London, and have something like 140k in savings. If I were to keep going at my current pace (which I intend to increase over the years so this wouldn't be the case but still) I'd have around 200k at 35, assuming my investments work out. Perhaps a big assumption, but I believe in it. That's 12 years from now, for me. In my Net Worth sheets I have to track my progress and goals I assume a 3.5% inflation rate. Meaning my 200k at 35 would be equivalent to 132k in today's money. Sure, 3.5% is high, I assumed high inflation on purpose to account for bad things happening in my model, a more reasonable 2.5% would put me at 148k but still, my plan is to be about where that person is right now when I'm them. Terrible sentence there, but hopefully you catch my meaning. And they felt behind. Obviously, they aren't behind, but still, that kind of hit me. I don't like to think about this too much, I don't believe it's very productive, but there's that feeling that maybe I'm being too slow. My goal is to be a millionaire by 50, basically. By my calculations, this is possible. Very possible, in fact. I will need to increase how much I save on a monthly basis (I save around €800, currently) but as I progress in my field and my career advances this will hopefully be possible. I mean, if in 10 years time I can start saving just €300 more per month that would make it possible. So much can change, so much will change. Maybe my priorities will change, but still. Looking at this, I wonder. Should I have just invested the money I spent on things, this month? I'm scared to get lost in this obsession with getting to seven figures and forget to live comfortably, kinda like how these fashion obsesseds lose track of their identity chasing trends. What a banger line, huh? I'm insufferable. xoxo
I've been watching a lot of fashion videos on YouTube. They're entertaining and informational, very nice. I love this guy that runs the Iron Snail channel. I think fabrics, designs, and the history of garments is actually really interesting. Still, the more I watch these videos, the more I realize how ridiculous the whole Japanese denim thing is. I just don't see it. Being Japanese makes no difference! The prices are ridiculous, I just can't get behind it. I'm not a Japanese denim hater, by any means---I don't know enough about Japanese denim or denim in general to have a strong opinion about this---but this whole shebang stinks of bogus. I don't know. Still, the more I watch and the more I research, the more fascinated I become with natural fabrics. Wool, cotton, leather. You really could make every piece of clothing you may need with those 3, it's crazy. Metal and wood are probably also good to have. They're not even that expensive, which I find pretty crazy. You can get 100% cotton clothes for less than €60 pretty easily, a variety of designs and styles and use-cases. It's really cool, it's really really cool. The more I look into this stuff the more I want to look. I'll keep looking at this stuff.
Today, I was messaged on Reddit; I was asked for financial advice. I'm not very active, but when I see a post of someone looking for information on passive fund investing I usually reply with some information. I'm a blabbermouth and a typerfinger so I like to be thorough and careful with what I say. It's the second time someone's messaged me personally asking for further information after reading something I wrote and getting the impression I'm some financial wiz. Thing is, I've been investing for some 2 months. I like to help and I believe I'm saying things right, but I'm so scared of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Before I ever put a single cent in the market I looked things up, read and read, listened and asked; I'm as careful and thorough with what I do with my money as I am with my online responses. Still, I'm barely a rookie! On one hand, if I can help someone, I think I should. On the other hand, how can I help someone if I barely know what I'm doing? I'm confident, really I am, but I'm painfully aware that my year of research isn't enough to know everything, and I'm painfully *un*aware if it's enough to know even just a few things. I think I'm staying pretty safe, I try really hard to stay safe; if I err, I try to do it on the side of caution. Still, what am I to do, I wonder. As I write this, I'm listening to Test Drive from HTTYD. Really good song. Mostly uneventful week, not much to report today. Hopefully my backpack comes next week, that'd be very, very nice. Going back to investments though, in these 2 months I've been down as much as like 8% I think? My first investment was *right* before the crash back in August. Now I'm up almost 2%. It's nothing special, it's nothing fancy or even complicated, and it should work. I really think it will. If it doesn't though, I may be leading some reasonable people astray. I don't know. At the end of the day, I guess all I can do is what I think is right and live with the consequences.
Jeans. Love 'em, hate 'em, wear 'em. That's how it goes with these things, but which ones to wear? That is the question. I got Levi's 501s a while back. 100% cotton. They're in the *Drive Me Crazier* colour and they have this so-called Lightweight denim. Now, let me be transparent here: I used to hate jeans. Looking back, I'm not sure when this started, but I assume it was sometime in my teens when I was growing rapidly. "Jeans are uncomfortable, they don't fit me, they suck" and whatnots, that's what I used to say, but that's just not true. Jeans fit if you get the right ones, they're comfortable if you get the right ones, and they're stylish if you get the right ones and pair them with the right things. That's a lot to get right, unfortunately, but apparently it's not as hard as it seems. Just buy 501s! I've mentioned this several times in these posts, but I'll say it again: that's expensive. I don't mind forking over a wad of cash for quality, but I need to get my money's worth. Really, what I care about isn't price or quality, it's value. I want to buy things that are worth their price, and specifically I want to buy whatever is *most* worth its price. The 501s have been serving me very well; I love how light they are, they feel incredibly soft, and they're pretty cool-lookin'. Mind you, I'm not a fashionista and because of my recent weight-loss (yay me :D) they're actually significantly oversized at the waist, but even then I don't think it's a terrible fit. They just look good, really they do. Then again, is there better out there? I think the answer is an undeniable **yes**. Wrangler, of course, is the way to go. I talked about all of this [a way's back](https://alexandrite.app/lemm.ee/post/42546900). What I didn't talk about was whether or not I would actually go out and buy them. I think I will. Probably in a month or two month's time, but I probably will. My most likely targets are the Wrangler Frontier model. I like the Clever and the Rattlesnake colours very much. What I do wonder though, is if I should buy some darker coloured jeans this time around. The Levi's are very light, and both the Frontiers I mentioned are light as well. I don't know... On one hand, I do tend to prefer the lighter colours, on the other hand I feel like they look a bit casual? Or less professional, I should say. Looking professional isn't exactly my top priority and concern but I do think it'd be nice to have some more formal jeans. I like the Cloudy Skies colour, but they don't have it in my size right now *and* they have 2% elastane. I wonder how much of a difference the elastane makes. Something else that kind of bothers me is that, whenever Wrangler jeans are mentioned, the cowboy cut comes up. I don't see what's so good about it. I don't *dislike* it, mind you---I've never even ever worn one that kind of jeans---but why the cowboy cut over a regular or relaxed straight cut? I just don't see it.
A few days ago, on Sunday, a zipper on my backpack got loose. I think there are ways to fix this, but I couldn't get it back in even with meaningful effort, so I've resigned myself to buying a new backpack. The old one is *that one* HP laptop backpack. Hopefully you know the one, because I see it *everywhere*. I genuinely can't count how many people I've seen with the same model! I don't remember why I decided to buy this one 5 years ago, but I suspect, knowing myself, it was the price, and I assume, knowing everyone else, that is also the reason so many other people have made the same choice. That being said, the quality does leave something to be desired. Don't get me wrong, it's "fine", but it's not great. For one, it's peeling on the front. For two, it's not waterproof in the slightest. I wouldn't necessarily expect a backpack to be waterproof, much less one that does not advertise itself as such, but still, it's an annoyance, a pretty major one, mind you. I went to check and it actually does say it's water resistant, which I suppose it's fair as it doesn't leave anything you put inside it drenched, but still. I got paid recently and did some money managing. I invest every month in a global ETF and spend about €430 on rent, bills, food, and whatnots. Also, I'd like to always have at least €300 left in my checking account---this is something I'm *heavily* debating with myself, actually. On one hand, it's good to always have some extra money lying around. You might just need it! On the other hand... Isn't that what the emergency fund is for? I mean, sure, I may miscalculate and need some additional bucks and it would be nice to have them easily accessible and not have to dip into a savings account for a couple sticks, but €300 worth of sticks?! Is it too much? Maybe, maybe... Regardless, by my calculations I have about €100 this month unplanned. I did my regular investments and have already accounted for the monthly expenses, so it really is just lying around. I mean this to say I could buy a new backpack very easily. I was convinced JanSport was the choice. Reason being both quality and their 30 year warranty. That's a very, very long time. Not life time, though. Close enough, I'd argue, for a backpack that will see extensive daily use. I'm strongly considering their Cool Student model. It's not waterproof either, but it's big and does everything I need. The one problem with JanSport stuff is that they just have way too many pockets and little things like the organizer pocket. They're student models, I assume that's why they have so much shit. Here's the thing: there's better out there, so much better... The Patagonia Black Hole 32L is perhaps my ideal backpack, but it runs €170. Holy golly gee, I *really* don't want to spend almost 200 on a backpack! I asked ChatGPT for some help and it actually worked. AI isn't so bad when it's used like this, it's a *really* effective search engine, I probably never would've found out about Cabinzero if not for it. The Cabinzero Classic Tech might just be perfect. Now, it is smaller than I'd love at only 28L, but it's still an upgrade from my puny 24L---I can't tell you how many times I've had it packed to the brim. Wanna guess why the zipper came off? I overpacked it. The Classic Tech has easy laptop access and great padding. Also, it doesn't have all the pockets I don't want. Strongly considering this one. I also travel relatively often, usually by train, bus, and tram, but I do also travel by plane at least once a year, usually more. This is good, this is good. I'm convincing myself! The best part? €78. Oh yeah. I find it hard to believe there's something better out there, this really feels designed for me. I'll look into this a little more before making a decision, and I'm still pondering the Patagonia, but for now just assume I bought the Cabinzero.
I've been feeling my smartphone is very cluttered. There's lots of apps I don't use or use very infrequently and I find that extremely frustrating! I started a list of every app I *actually* use but I'm finding it longer than I would like. What making that list has made me realize, though, is that the ReVanced project is truly amazing; it's one of the greatest things ever to grace this ad-infested internet. Nothing more to report today. Well, I've been going with a new Firefox setup, recently. Nothing major really, but I like it. It's very minimal. Here's a [link](https://github.com/gon555551/lineberry) and an image:  It's just a one-line hardened Firefox with Sideberry. I slightly modified the sidebar to fit my tastes and changed Sideberry's colours to match the nav bar. It's hardened with Betterfox. Firefox actually has native vertical tabs now. I found that out on the r/FirefoxCSS, it shocked me really, I had no idea. I was converted recently, anyway. What they don't have yet is tree-style tabs and tab groups. Big deal for me, tree-style. Tryle tabs, if you will. If it weren't for that, I might consider just going with the native functionality---no need for extensions. I've actually done some work on full-sidebar setup using the native functionality but oh boy is it a pain in the ass. I've seen some people do it but I don't like their implementations. I really have to look into it. Here's a look:  I'll look into it I will... I do wonder though, if it's even worth it. I mean, when Firefox implements tab groups---which they said they would, I think---or tryle then I'll probably just switch to that. Do some light cosmetic mods or really just the one-line and move on. It takes up so little of the screen anyway, why hide the URL bar away on the sidebar. I don't usually hide the sidebar, actually, I find it annoying more often than not if I can't see my tabs. I'll think about it, I suppose.
Just now I watched a TikTok wherein a man was being interviewed in prison. He committed a double homicide at the age of thirteen and was sentenced at the age of fifteen to 170 years in prison. At fifteen years old he was condemned to a life behind bars. People can live and live well in many situations; there's also that one phenomenon wherein people tend to feel "fine" about their situations. We adapt and we start taking things for granted, but that also means that when we have nothing we become content. I actually believe the man can lead a "fine" life in prison, and I really don't want to paint him as some sort of miserable fucker wallowing in incarceration. Then again, a life of imprisonment is a life of punishment. He lives to live out his punishment, that is his life's meaning. I feel like the stigma against incarcerated people is very strong, at least I feel it very strongly. Logically, I know that just because someone did something bad or, more accurately, was convicted of having done something bad, that doesn't mean that they are, fundamentally, a bad person, someone to fear or to avoid. Still, I feel that urge to cross the street. It's not on purpose and it's not conscious, it's not a thought, it's a feeling, but I do feel it. This man though was smart. Not in the sense of being clever but in the sense of being intelligent, of knowing things. He was incredibly well-spoken and well-informed. That really scared. Where I live there is not such thing as a life sentence. As a matter of fact, the worst sentence anyone can possibly get is 25 years. That's a long, long time. Maybe it's too long, but it's not a wasted life. At 15 he would've been out by 40. There's a lot left to live at 50. But what kind of world is this that that's what some people have to think like. They have to think not "what can I do today" but "how much can I do after 40". And that man didn't even have that, he lived to serve out his sentence, to serve, he was a slave, nothing but a body in a cage. No representation in a democracy, his rights eroded and discarded, his life thrown away, rotting in the gutter. A double homicide at 13, at 13 years old, and that's his life. That's it. To me, this doesn't make sense. Something's wrong, clearly. It's so obvious. How can it be that a 13 year old kid is doomed to a life in striped-vision and orange jumpsuits. How can it be that a society punishes someone so ruthlessly. That's the fundamental dissonance there, I think. It's punishment, nothing more, and I think that's wrong. I understand the urge, just like I feel that push to cross the street, but we have to be logical. When thinking about how to manage each other, we have to think beyond our biases, we have to make sense and not play it by heart. Punishing isn't right, not like this, not to this extent, at least that much is clear. If I asked you what is best: the 13 year old learns to live peacefully and productively in society or the 13 year old spends the rest of his life behind bars, what would you answer? I can't imagine that anyone would choose the second option, and quite frankly if someone were to pick the second option I would think they're a monster, drained of humanity and empathy. Of course I think of the victims and their families. Two people were killed. Do they not deserve justice? Of course they do, of course. But what is justice, in this case? An eye for an eye; a life for a life? A life for two lives? I can't imagine that's satisfying. They're still dead. But now a kid is dead also. I can only think of all the people that spend their lives behind bars but don't have that man's intelligence. If you asked them they would speak poorly and they would show their ignorance, they would be filthy and boisterous or disrespectful and rude. It's easy to hate people like that with a second's judgement. How many people are there that did something terrible as kids, as nothing more than kids, and then are condemned to live out pain, but lack the know-how to speak it, screaming with no mouth. 25 years. I wonder if that's the sweet spot. A 13 year old kills two people, two years later gets sentenced and tried as an adult. Spends 25 years in prison, comes out at 40. What do the families think, and what do they say? "My son's murderer walks free while he rots in a grave." "My sister's murderer walks free while maggots eat her face." I feel so callous, just thinking about that. The only thing I feel like responding with is "So what?" You grieve so a kid must die? An eye for an eye; a life for a life. That's the rule of beasts, I feel. We need to think. Punishment... Maybe there's something to it. Maybe not to help the criminal, maybe it doesn't help there but there's something to be said in appeasing the victims or those that remain to grieve them. Maybe. But to make someone live solely to suffer is cruel beyond belief. It beggars belief, really, it's absurd and has no reason to exist in civilized society. I don't have answers, it's painfully clear to me that I don't have answers. Still, I think there's at least some value in pointing out problems. Life sentence is wrong. A life for a life is wrong. This kind of punishment, maybe punishment altogether, is wrong. I go back to the question I posed earlier, but I'll make it more general: > A kid will either die or live. Which will you choose? If you choose death, I find you guilty of murder. > A man will either die or live. Which will you choose? If you choose death, I find you guilty of murder. And though you are a murderer, I choose that you live.
A few days ago I watched a TikTok about leftists, third spaces, and being social. I didn't agree with the video on some levels, but it did resonate pretty strongly with me. The main thesis was that leftism online and pro-social movements are often led or promoted by people and in spaces where people actually display rather anti-social behaviour. Specifically, they talked about how people will complain about the lack of third spaces---not work, not home---and say that that is the reason they stay home, can't meet people, can't get partners, can't enjoy community/interpersonal hobbies, and other such complaints. The video argues that, even if these third spaces existed, these people would not even appreciate them because they're antisocial, they're obsessed with an ideal of society and they are so close-minded, in a way, that they end up ignoring everything and everyone. Now, that part I disagree with. It's not that these people don't exist---I'm sure they do---but from my experience leftists are social people. I'm not someone that enjoys going out to parties and whatnot, events, but I do enjoy talking to other people. I enjoy art, I like to discuss it and I like to talk with others about it. One thing I really love to do is play games. I think games are a great way to socialize. I don't frequent any third spaces, right now. I'm sure they're out here, and I think I've actually mentioned one that I know about though it doesn't fit my particular interests, but I love having opportunities to socialize. For me, online is the easiest way to do this because online is where I can find people that share my interests. I don't really feel like there's a need for more third spaces around me. Maybe I'm the antisocial person they were talking about and that's why I don't see the problem, then again I'm not the person complaining about this stuff so maybe not. Regardless, I've been feeling an itch to play card games. I really, really want to play card games with people. I used to do it all the time with friends, but I haven't in years. A shame, truly. Hopefully soon I'll get to it. xoxo
I ate sushi today, it was great. I love buffet-style restaurants. Really, it's almost absurd how much better all-you-can-eats are as compared to order-and-pay type restaurants. I mean, I'm a hungry dude. I like to eat, and while I do value good food (rather than just quantity of food), I would prefer to leave full of "OK" food instead of leaving only half-satisfied by great food. There's a lot of Asian buffet restaurants over here, they've been popping up all over the place, like mushrooms, these things, but I am not upset in the slightest, I love them! I also love mushrooms, by the way. The restaurant I went to this time is one I've been to many, many times in the past. It's great. There's a decent selection, very reasonable prices, and good quality. It's by no means the best sushi I've ever had, not even close really, but it's good enough that I don't complain about the quality. Some of their stuff is actually *really* good, even compared to some other much more expensive sushi places I've been to. Their biggest advantage though, is price. They're the cheapest buffet place I've ever been to. Lunch is €10. What? €10 for an all-you-can-eat? SUSHI?! And sushi isn't everything they have either, I love their shrimp tempura and their cooked stuff. I usually stick to the tempura and the sushi---I just prefer that---but they have good food. And for the price, I genuinely believe you can't get better than this. The service is great too, they're all very nice, quick, helpful. It's fantastic really. The restaurant is usually pretty busy, actually, which is to be expected for such great value. The other two places I can think of right now that I've been to offer higher quality but for higher prices. One's priced at €15 and the other at €20. See what I mean? If it costs 50% more I'm expecting a 50% improvement in the experience but that's just not the case. To be fair to the €15 place it's not a sushi spot, it's an "Asian" thing, but they do have sushi, though it's a mediocre selection. They're good, sure, but not good enough that it's meaningful, and the selection of other foods, while varied and high in quality, just doesn't move me. I prefer sushi, sushi is fantastic, so you can have great *other* seafood, but it's still worse than sushi. And their sushi is just OK, really. The €25 place though has much better sushi, probably because it is, yes, a sushi place. Now my problem with that one is that it costs fucking **DOUBLE** man! I'm not paying double if it's not worth double, and it isn't. Don't get me wrong, the selection is great and the quality is very respectable, the service is also good but much worse than the first place I mentioned---they use a little device for selecting and ordering the food instead of just having the food on a table and the place is much bigger, so the staff is much less available overall. Still, it's great, I don't mind going there by any means, if I'm not the one paying. I love to eat. Also, I love to customize things. I spent a little bit of time today changing up my Firefox. I've been officially converted to the vertical tab cult! It is actually much better. Firefox "recently" added an experimental feature with the vertical sidebar tabs, and it's good, but they haven't added tab groupings yet. That *really* sucks, it really, really does. I mean, the biggest benefit of vertical tabs isn't the visibility, I'd argue, but the very intuitive way tabs can be collapsed into groups. Sideberry and TST are great at this, but Mozilla is clearly behind the edge here. Which is fine, you know, it's a company rather than some random individual programmer, it's OK that they're late to the party, but there's so many alternatives out there that really do a great job at this (Arc, Zen...). I just tweaked my Sideberry and did some userChroming to get the setup as minimal as possible with the vertical tabs with groups. Sideberry calls them panels, whatever, they're groups. Here's a pic:  Pretty nice, if I do say so myself. Very minimal, very functional... Very... D--Demure?! I suppose...
Back at the grind, you know how it goes. Went back home today, tiresome thing that, but it's good to see my brother. Got to do the backup thing I wanted to do as well. Been talking to a rapper about his work and whatnot, cool stuff. Did read Babel yesterday, forced myself to, but not even a full chapter. Just not really feeling it. I'm terribly tired. Good night.
I've got nothing to say today. I didn't end up reading Babel yesterday, a shame, really, but we keep moving. I still enjoyed my night, and I hope to enjoy it again tonight. I've working more on that IRL itemization thing I talked about before, I'm working on laptops right now---writing a whole other document just for that. There's just so much... It's a bit of an undertaking, to put it lightly. I've really been missing playing cards. I'm wondering if there's somewhere I can go in the city where people play. I've noticed that there's this spot where people play MTG, but I want to play traditional card games. I'll look into it, maybe. Keeping the streak on this stuff. --- I'll read Babel today for sure. --- I'll have class tomorrow. Pain in the ass, but hey, we'll see. I'll also go home for the weekend, see my brother. Looking forward to that.
Would you place your only copy of extremely important documents on top of a dormant volcano. No indication the volcano will become active. Logically, I think the answer is yes. I mean, why not? Assuming the documents are protected and surveilled properly, the location being a dormant volcano that has shown no sign of becoming active has no bearing on anything, really. I mean, it's just a place, nothing's going to happen. Then again, I feel like that would be very silly. What if the volcano does become active? I can't afford to lose my documents, so even though I think there'd be no issue with having them there, I will still choose to have them somewhere else, somewhere I perceive to be safer or less risky. I feel like cloud storage is similar to this. I know that Google Drive isn't just going to lose my data, neither is Mega or Dropbox. But it has happened. It has happened that a dormant volcano suddenly erupted and it has happened that important data was lost. At the end of the day, the cloud is just someone else's computer, and I don't want my stuff on someone else's computer because I don't know what the hell they're gonna do with it. What's the alternative? Have it on your own computer, of course. That does defeat the point though, doesn't it? I mean, the whole point of having your stuff in the cloud is that you don't have to have it on your computer. I see two primary benefits in cloud storage: backups and transferability. Backups are great because, sometimes, you want to *really* make sure you don't lose something important. Your pen drives can stop working, your PC can get fried, the world can end! That last one would also end Google Drive, I'd assume, but the other ones do have cloud storage as a viable way to backup your data. It's not really a matter of replacing other backup methods, it's just something else you can *also* do to be safer. Transferability, though, is what I really value. Backups are nice, sure, but I backup things physically anyway. That's the kind of person I am, and I really don't trust Google Drive more than a pen drive for backups. Being able to see my photos on my computer and my phone though, that's the real juice. Oh that's nice, that's really nice. I mean, there's other ways to do this, sure, but usually they're a pain in the ass and they take a long while. A service that monitors your files and automagically syncs them on several devices is just amazing. It's so convenient. Not to mention the fact that you can get a new device and the photos are *still there*. That's crazy, actually. It's really good. But it's a dormant volcano. I really don't want my stuff on the dormant volcano. SyncThing is probably the most popular alternative to the typical cloud storage services. It's free and open-source---always a good thing---and it's actually easy to use, in relative terms. It's much harder to use than Google Drive but it's not *difficult* by any stretch of the imagination. The problem with SyncThing is the same as the problem with Google Drive though: the cloud is just a computer. In Drive's case, it's someone else's (Google's) computer, in SyncThing's case it's yours. That's good, because you're not a volcano, but you do also need another computer. Actually, you need a computer **and** you need it to be online all the time. That's a pain in the ass for people like me. I like to keep things tidy, I like to have few things, and I don't have an extra computer lying around to do this. That's really annoying, but I don't see any other possibility. Truth be told, I have a lot of things I want to do. Having a server would be convenient for more than just cloud storage, so I'm strongly considering investing in a Raspberry Pi for this. It's small, relatively cheap, easy to set up and use... Why not, right? I don't know. I just might, I just might. OneDrive isn't enough, Google Drive isn't enough, and I really don't want my stuff spread out across a thousand different services. Really, I don't want my stuff on *any* "service". I want my stuff on **MY** computer. Yeah, yeah... I'll think about it, really consider it. We'll see how it goes. I did manage to read a chapter of Babel, yesterday. It was good, too good. It was almost jolly in tone. I hate that, not because I hate jolly but because I've read enough dramas to know what the fuck happens after jolly enters the stage: tragedy. Shit if about to hit the fan, I can feel it. I can't wait! TimeSuck was a fantastic discovery, I really wish I remembered where I saw it... I listened to their episode on Elvis Presley. It was great. Also, I started writing a little document about minimalism. IRL itemization. I'm having fun. --- I'll read more Babel today, I think. We'll see how it turns out.
For several years now, I've been paying a lot of attention to the things I own and the things I should to have around me. Here I'm including furniture, utensils, stationary, devices, and even software. The idea of owning many things doesn't upset me *per se* but, for some reason, it does raise an eyebrow. Objectively, I need very little to live, and if we were to extend that *need* to include a fulfilling and comfortable modern life that would still apply. Now, don't get me wrong, the list is actually rather long if we were to list everything, but most of these things (bed, wardrobe, bike...) aren't items that you replace often or even think about all that much. They're the kind of thing you buy and forget about. I still think they're worth mentioning, especially if we're talking about designing a life's itemization---that's what I like to call it---but they're not disposable or replaceable in the same way as say, a phone or a shirt. I think there are different categories of things---I haven't gotten there yet---and there's just a lot of stuff in the **big** category, and that's not what I want to talk about today. First, I want to focus on the small stuff. Perhaps a mistake, but that's how I feel like doing it. When there's talk of consumerism, fast fashion bubbles up seemingly immediately, and with good reason. To be honest, my family and I have never subscribed to this fast fashion thing; chasing trends and replacing clothes often is simply something we don't do, though we do often shop at the typical fast fashion brands (Primark, Zara...), not because they have a constantly updating roster of trendy clothes but because they are cheap, and price is very important to organizing your life. I did a bit of digging, trying to find the best brands and items to buy to put in my wardrobe, and it was surprisingly simple, actually. Black and white shirts, jeans and sweats, a couple hats, some quality shoes, socks and boxers (some people might need bras as well), and that's it. I came up with a few brands: - Fruit of the Loom - Wrangler - Lefties - Intimissimi - Merrell And that's it. Fruit of the Loom is the brand that basically every shirt you've ever gotten for free at a random event made. They produce in bulk, and you buy in bulk. They're durable and high-quality. Now don't get me wrong, these are good cotton shirts but they're not satin or something of the sort, if you want something top of the top of line then maybe you have to look somewhere else, but they are damn good shirts for very, very cheap. They have different colours, long and short-sleeve, what more could you want?! Nothing, I'd argue. Wrangler make jeans, and they make them well and for cheap. I've never actually bought Wrangler jeans because I have a single pair of Levi's (recently bough, gift from my mom) and they're holding up very well, so I've seen no need to buy any more. That being said, Wrangler has great reviews and are very affordable. My next pair of jeans are definitely gonna be from them. Levi's is, of course, the other brand in this category that people often talk about. A lot has been said about some loss of quality over the years, but if you buy the 100% cotton 501s you're gonna be fine. They're much more expensive and not because of quality, but because it says Levi's on the pants. I wouldn't recommend based on that alone, but the quality is there. Some jean aficionados might talk about raw or selvage denim, but that's rather unnecessary if we're looking for a good price-quality relationship. Lefties is a brand that I've made lots of purchases from over the years. They don't make fantastic stuff, not really, but they're good enough. I like their shorts and sweatpants, is what I'm getting at. They're comfortable, cheap, and discreet, which I value quite a lot. I'd like to remind you, at this point, that I'm not looking to separate myself from the trash that is fast fashion, but to take advantage of it to maximize my own life. If a fast fashion company makes good shorts, buy from them, it doesn't matter that they're fast fashion. Just don't compulsively replace them whenever the new ones come out. Buy the good ones, then take good care of them. Intimissimi is one I found relatively recently. I bought a bunch of Primark underwear before and, while acceptably comfortable, they got holes in them before I knew it. When I looked for good underwear brands online I was thoroughly shocked by not only the disagreements between users and the astronomical prices of the products. Tons of recommendations that got slammed and lots of recommendations that, put simply, obliterate the bank. Intimissimi, I felt, was a nice middle-ground. They have good quality at affordable prices. I can't really recommend them too much on account of seemingly gigantic personal aspect to underwear. I love them, but hey. Their socks are also great. They're much more expensive than, say, Primark and some other brands out there but god the quality is incomparable. Merrell is another one that is very speculative, on my part. I'm one of those people that only buys new shoes when the old ones fall apart, and I mean *fall apart*. In tatters, unwearable. I bought some Merrell shoes at a discount but they didn't have my size so I ended up having to return them---which worked fine, by the way, their customer support was fast and pleasant---but my little brother (who's an adult) got a pair of sandals and shoes. He wears them daily and has no complaints. As a matter of fact, the first few days of him wearing them he was rejoicing at how comfortable they were. By all accounts, they're also rather durable. He got them on my recommendation, but I ended up wearing the same old beaten old sneakers. Whatever, I'm not bitter. Regardless, my next big purchase is almost certainly going to be shoes. I'm in need of new ones, and Merrel is likely going to be the pick this time around. I've also been looking at some other brands, especially hand-made and not mass-produced shoes. Nothing wrong with mass-produced shoes, but I was simply curious and was happily surprised by the comparable prices to some big brands. I also mentioned hats. I didn't list a brand for them because I like special hats. I bought a hat from a YouTuber brand a while back and it's served me well, I wear it all the time, and I also have a simple cap from the Kraków Hard Rock Café. I'm sure there's brands out there that make killer hats, I just don't really care for that. My belt is Levi's brand, bought with the pants. There's plenty of good leather belts around, really, and I'm not big on belts so I didn't look into it enough quite yet. I saw a very interesting American brand a few months ago that seemed to make a really nice product, but the prices were... High, to put it mildly. Maybe I just haven't gotten to the point where I really value a good belt. We'll see how it goes with this one. I'd also like to talk about digital devices. Personally, I think a laptop/PC (depending on one's needs), smartphone, and ebook reader are great. The only one I find very debatable is the ebook reader; reading physical books is indescribably better than reading EPUBs but the convenience of a reader is ridiculous. So many books, for free no less. Insane. I'm actually thinking of investing in a new laptop, actually, but I haven't gotten a good look at the line-ups just yet, what I have given a lot of thought to, however, is OS. I think Linux is the future, I truly believe that. I've tried a few different distros and the only reason I haven't switched over just yet is inertia. Everything is Windows for me, so changing everything over is a bit of a pain in the ass. I'm the kind of person that likes to personalize things, when possible, and Linux makes everything possible, which is a particular kind of hell and a special kind of heaven for me. Still, I'm convinced. For me, it's purely a matter of time. For phone Android is the only choice. iOS and the iPhone just don't compete on any level, pretty much. I'm not an Apple hater by any means---though I don't really like them because their products are underwhelming---but there are much better Android alternatives. I don't think the top of the line products for either Android of iOS are the way to go, by the way. I'm big on Chinese brands. I have a TCL 20L+ and it works really well. I've had it for a couple of years now and it hasn't failed me, I intend to buy an equivalent when it's life runs out. Ebook readers are easy: just buy the cheapest one for the size you want. I have a second hand basic Kindle from way back, I've had it for years and it works perfectly. Bells and whistles are irrelevant, as far as I'm concerned. I don't have the time or the will to write more here now, but I have a lot more to say on this particular topic. I've decided to start writing a Rentry on this. If anyone actually read this all the way through, please do recommend categories of things for me to look into, by the way. I didn't read Babel at all, yesterday. Instead, I listened to a Timesuck episode on Alexander Hamilton. Very interesting, especially after having watched the musical. I loved the musical, but I appreciated the more realistic approach to his biography that the episode provided. --- I *hope* to read some Babel today. I will read some, the question is how much, but I hope to read quite a bit. Let's see. --- That's it.
Cliché, I know. But really, this upsets me terribly. Democracy is horrible. People are dumb, easily manipulated, and they don't know what they want. Moreover, the masses are amoral. An individual might discern good from evil (whatever those are) but put them in a group and suddenly they trust the motion of the arms around them, they sway in the sea of sweat, and they lurch and barf and puke into the plate they eat off of if they see their brothers in mass do the same. It's absurd. I'm not immune to this, mind you, but I believe anyone has the right to criticize and point out problems where they stand, regardless of their own personal inclinations and vulnerabilities. The rule of the people is the rule of beasts, because people are beasts. Simple as that really; there isn't a better way to summarise the sentiment that I can think of, at least. My neighbour isn't a beast and neither am I, but give us the colours of a party, give us the speeches of a demagogue and god-forbid give us the demagogue we are like parrots spouting nonsense after nonsense, sunflowers tricked by an incandescent bulb. To vote is to think, and people don't think. Not even individuals think much at all, really, but people don't think. They go with the flow, they trust that the one next to them thought, but that very person trusts that the one next to *them* is the one doing the thinking. Count the heads and turns out there's barely a single brain spread between them, it's an embarrassment to humankind, it's a real and true shame. Then again, what other choice is there? Sure, people don't think, individuals don't think, there's no way democracy has any merit, but what can we do instead? I can think of many options but they all stink worse than rotten eggs drenched in sulphur. The first and most obvious solution---at least to me---is monarchy. The idea of a single lineage tasked with governance is nothing short of ideal. It's not a privilege, not really, it's a burden by all accounts. Generation after generation an individual is raised to rule. They are educated in every relevant subject, they are broken down and reshaped into the ideal of a leader, someone that can make the right decisions at the right time, and the populus shall never even think about what needs to be done or doubt if what was done was the right thing, for the monarch knows best and knows more than anyone else. It's a bothersome position and heavy is the head, as they say, but it's really hard to come up with something better. Surround the royal with a court of specialists in the relevant political and social issues of the day and there you go, a perfectly run nation. The only problem, of course, is that absolute power corrupts absolutely. To give a single person---or a single family---that much power and influence is a recipe for disaster. It's not a matter of if but of when the country will fall to bits because a single heir decided they knew best and the best was to live a life of unadulterated hedonism. Then, everything comes crumbling down. Monarchy is a terrible idea. It sounds good, but power simply cannot be allowed to concentrate on an individual or family. The next best thing is a technocracy, I suppose. I first heard this word in a song by Samsa, actually, called technocrat. I thought it said techno-rat at first. It was a weird experience. Regardless... The idea is simple: don't let power go to one person that is a specialist in everything, instead let the power go to the court. The court is a group of specialists in a bunch of different fields, and each should be responsible for their own particular portion of the country. This sounds good, at first glance, but it's completely undoable. Who chooses the specialists, who decides what fields deserve representation, oh and worst of all who decides which decisions go forward and which ones don't? Governance is a *quid pro quo*. If you give to education you have to take from somewhere, if you give to health you have to take from somewhere. Who makes those kinds of calls? If the group makes the calls, well, that defeats the purpose. Why would a specialist in education decide whether or not the nation needs more public transport and how it should be operated? It's a paradox, at the end of the day, and it cannot work without power being given to someone, or worse, the people. Because when the people are given a choice, they choose to behave like beasts. We're back at square one. Perhaps a middle ground exists, somewhere. A way to pick a select number of individuals with varied specialisations for the purpose of making these calls. Not the people, not a person, but a group of persons that are individually capable, but not so numerous they devolve to a mob. I imagine a nation where education is valued. With this I don't mean that everyone has a university degree or something, but that people are informed and in possession of a developed sense of critical thinking. On a side-note, I think university education isn't all it's cracked up to be. Once again, I know, what a cliché. I'm a PhD student on a grant, I'm doing well for myself and I work in research, I'm highly educated, but I don't see how university benefits the vast majority of individuals. If anything, basic education should be extended to include more philosophy and history. I value those very much in my personal life, despite their complete uselessness in my daily activities. But hey, what do I know, and really that's my whole point. I don't know. I'd like someone that does know to make those decisions. I'm thinking something like the Americans with their whole "a jury of your peers" spiel, but for technocrats. Randomly selected from people that have achieved a certain level of achievement in a given area or several. Of course, whenever merit is discussed we have to consider how economic situation influences accessibility, but that's why I think the nation needs to value education above all else to try and mitigate this as much as possible. Make it so that children and young adults find learning to be a viable way to spend their time. I don't know, I feel silly even talking about this because of how ignorant I must sound, but I really think that the current system is a failure. Things don't get done, and when they do they're half-arsed and mediocre. We're ruled by a class of idiots and speakalots rather than people that actually have something meaningful to say. There must be a better way, I just don't accept a reality in which there isn't. Lotsa people have given this thought, I suppose I should go out and read what they've written, huh? Hypocrisy flows in my veins like blood. --- My hands, especially my left hand, hurt. I have very sensitive skin---and very dry skin---and I ate a bunch of oranges. Peeled them myself, like the swell dude I am, but holy crap those things have a bite. Reminds me of cheese. You know, I was convinced I was allergic to cheese until this very moment. My skin always breaks out in hives when my hands touch cheese for a not-short period of time. It's very uncomfortable. Eating is no issue, just like it isn't with oranges, but I just thought that there was no way that was normal. I had to be allergic, at least partially! Which by the way, is not a thing as far as I know. Now, faced with my orange-stained skin---D...Donnie?!---I must come to the conclusion that I am not allergic to cheese, but rather my skin is simply stupid. Funny how things work. --- I read lots of Babel yesterday. Finished Book 2. It was thoroughly enjoyable. I really, really loved it! This R. F. Kuang fellow has something of a talent, I'd wager. She's puh-retty good. Really, I mean that. I'll read more today, most likely.
I started writing the novel I mentioned a few days ago. Just the scaffold, and I didn't even finish that, but I like how it's going so far. I appreciate seeing something come together slowly but surely. Not bad, not bad indeed. I think I need to work on that even, but I like that I at least managed to get to it. Today there was no stream, so I had a bit less fun than usual, but it was still a fine day. I played Battlegrounds. Won a few, lost a few. My rating barely changed if at all. It's whatever... I don't have much so say. I haven't read too much Babel, which sucks honestly, I should get to it, but I'm really stressed out with the start of the academic year; classes got delayed and whatnot, some problem with the administration or something, I don't know, but it fucking sucks. I have other shit to do, you know?! Why do I have to worry about this kinda stuff as well? Once again, it's whatever. I wanted to make a post just so I can say I kept it up. If I stop, I feel I won't ever pick this up again, and I think it's doing me some good. --- I hope to read some Babel today.
I've been thinking about music a lot. I love music---shocker, I know---but I always find it hard to pin down, to narrow down exactly what I love about it and to find artists that fill that *me* niche. Maybe there is no such artist, after all, I'm the only me, but then again, there's so many musicians you'd think there's at least one out there that doesn't miss. The closest I've come to finding musical perfection is MF DOOM. He's unmatched, in my opinion. For a long time I've had this idea in my mind, it's not crazy or anything but it's a bit weird. It's this band, I call it "Rouge, it's the colour of the mask" and it'd be two people---a writer-vocalist and a producer---and they'd make hip-hop about the current state of affairs. I think that peak music is made when people are united in the pursuit of a vision. DOOM and Madlib, BROCKHAMPTON... I'm sure there's others but I'm blanking on it right now. There's plenty of amazing individual artists (Michael Jackson, to name perhaps the greatest) but I really do think that bands are just better. I guess because there's more humanity, more people so it's more people-like, and that's what makes music (art) great; people make art. That's really all that needs to be said. Still, this hypothetical band would make conscious hip-hop, as it's called. I love Kendrick Lamar and he's notorious for operating in this space; he's really good at it too, but there's something missing from his music that I just can't put my finger on. I think it's that he works alone. I say alone but really, he's never alone, he has tons of featured artists on his stuff and he's not a producer at all, as far as I know, so there's always gonna be someone working with him to make the final track, but that's not good enough to be truly great. It's great, yes, but it's not truly great. I think the issue is the consistency. Because he works with several producers on any given project, they can feel disjointed, even if not at the surface level---Kendrick is amazing at keeping his albums feeling connected---but when you delve deeper it feels disjointed, like it was made by a bunch of people that didn't really talk about what they were doing, that didn't have a same, unified vision. It's one person's vision being executed by a bunch of talent, rather than a bunch of talent executing a shared vision. Topics that could be tackled include the environment, the rise of the alt-right in Europe (and world-wide), and living a comfortable life in a fundamentally unfair system---living with the reality that some suffer so that you may thrive, and the questioning of whether some *must* suffer for others to thrive. Stuff's complicated, but I think music is a fantastic platform, or medium, for these topics to be breached. See, music is something you can put on in the background and let wiggle itself into your subconscious, but it's also something you can sit down and dissect. I really feel like literature doesn't have this, it misses this big aspect of inertia. You really need to focus when you read, the medium demands attention. Good music will *make you* pay attention, but it'll never require it. This reminds me of that one Outkast song, Hey Ya I believe, wherein André3000 says something along the lines of "you don't want to listen, you just want to dance," and he's right. People don't want to listen, they just want to dance. You can't write a book that people will dance to, but you can write a song. That's the difference, that's what makes music such a powerful tool for both dissemination and the exploration of complex topics. You can write a song that people dance to, but that as they listen they may just understand what you're saying, they may engage with it even as they engage with something else. I love music. I keep drifting away from the point. The band I was talking about, it would make conscious hip-hop tackling relevant, current topics. Well, that's all dandy, but so what? I guess the *what* I'm wondering is why is that not already a thing? I mean, is it such a niche interest? It doesn't feel like it, then again, I'm me so nothing about me feels particularly niche even when it obviously is. The most likely possibility seems to me to be that I have just not found---come across---this band. It's out there, I just haven't heard of them yet. I don't know, I'm holding out hope, at least. I'm a musician actually, not by profession or vocation but just in a matter-of-fact sort of way: I know how to play music and I have played music for a long time. Maybe I could make the band. Then again, I don't have a producer and I don't know how to produce. As I spent some time establishing, at least one other individual would be required for this to work at all, and my antisocial nature is rather unlikely to result in me coming across that particular golden goose. There's also something else, and reading Babel is getting my mind wondering about this more than usual: language. I speak a couple languages and, while similar, they are categorically different. I find English poetry to be dreadful, simply put. I would hate to write in English. The problem with that is accessibility. English is the de facto lingua franca (sorry about the Latin) of the world, so writing music meant to be for the world in any other language feels like a missed point. How to reconcile English's barbaric lack of grace with its reach? Mayhaps impossible. Speaking of Babel, I'm actually reading a translated edition of the novel. Hilarious, I know. It's not even a very good translation, or at least it hasn't been up to now. The problem with bilingualism is that I can imagine what the original might've been and the translation really upsets me at times. It's not terrible, mind you, it's just clearly imperfect. It's beautiful though, which in a way I can almost excuse the technical shortcomings. Technical. Really, talking about this after reading Babel makes me feel so silly; there's so much discussion about what makes a good translation and they never seem to reach a meaningful conclusion. I already knew this, to an extent, but having it shoved in my face is rather painful, especially when I have to read the discussion about translation via a translation. By the way, look at this monstrosity: *twelfths*. That's 5 consonants in a row. Crazy. I saw that on TikTok a few days ago. --- I'll read more Babel today again.
It's hard to come up with good reasons to speak. People say "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," which makes sense, I think, but I would go one step further: "if you don't have anything *of substance* to say, don't say anything at all." José Saramago once said that writing when you have nothing to say is a crime. I'm inclined to agree. There is, however, a wrinkle here. I want to be able to say or write what I have to say or write properly, I want my message to come across, I want my words to mean something and for that meaning to be understood by those who come across it. How can I make sure that is the case? I can't, of course, but I'd argue the closest I can get to that is practising. Write even when you have nothing to say, so that when the time comes when you do have something to say, you'll know how to say it. I'm not sure if this makes much sense, but it's what I feel. I read some Babel yesterday and loved it. I'm really loving this exploration of what it means to live (and thrive) within unfair systems. When I read I often look forward to the end because I want to feel that sense of completion; I love reading because I love knowing, I love understanding a story from front to back, to internalize everything about it. I take great pleasure in that, but Babel is shaping up to be a different monster entirely. I don't look forward to the end as much as I look forward to the journey. People say the journey matters more than the destination, but of course it really depends on the journey. Babel is a journey, it seems. I've always had these conflicting feelings about the world as it is, society and whatnot. I feel like it always sounds cringe to talk about these things, but I'm also aware that it would benefit the *status quo* to make it cringe to talk about these things, because if they're not discussed, they're not challenged, if they're not challenged, they remain. So despite how tough it is, I'll put this in writing. I don't like the way things are. I think it's unfair that the some people have so much when others have so little, I think it's unfair that some people starve to death in the streets while others gorge themselves on overpriced delicacies. How brave of me! No, but really. It's easy to say these things are bad, but I always imagine rolling eyes and exasperated sighs followed by a look of pity... "Yes, but what can we do about it?" I think there are things we can do about it. I think the capitalist system, the profit-driven, growth-obsessed, selfish system that we live under and live by is wrong. It can't be right that for some to thrive others must suffer. It seems to be that there's enough for everyone, and it also seems to me that it is natural for us to look out for one another. Maybe I really have nothing to say. Still, I'll blabber on. I live a cushy life, all things considered. I have a great social net, I know things will work out even if I fail, and fail, and fail. I know that. I have money, freedom, independence. I lead a good life, a privileged life. I could give so much, but I don't. The truth is that I'm not willing to sacrifice my comfort for the good of others. Yes, to a certain extent it can be said that helping others isn't the easiest thing in the world; it's actually surprisingly convoluted to give provide assistance to people in need. In a way, this is a sign that things are actually pretty good, where I live, because people in need aren't that easy to come by. Then again, maybe even if they were easy to come by it would be hard to help. Regardless, I have to look out for myself, don't I? I deserve a good life, because everyone deserves a good life. Is living in misery worth keeping some other out of death? That sounds so absurd. The answer is yes, I think, but it's a damn hard choice to make. Babel is going to explore this further, I think. I really hope Kuang doesn't drop the ball on this. At this point, I need to understand why every choice is made, I need to understand their motivations and their reasons. If I can't understand the why, then Babel is a failure in my eyes. There's plenty of book left to achieve this, but I don't have complete confidence. Kuang's prose is too good for me to give her the benefit of believing she can pull an impeccable narrative together as well. How good can a writer be?! I hope I'm not overhyping her. I listened to a lot of music today, but it was mediocre music, unfortunately. I wanted to become familiar with the work of a particular rapper, TiaCorine. She's good, but nothing about her discography really wowed me. I suppose I have a type, even if it that *type* actually does encompass a bunch of different styles and genres, and she's simply outside the circle. Still, I don't regret listening, giving her a fair shot. I'll keep an eye on her regardless, see if she actually ends up coming up with something that changes my opinion. I also watched a livestream today. It was lovely. It's always great, but today was really good. A lot of laughter... It was just delightful. I won't be able to catch it tomorrow, I suspect. A shame, but that's how it goes sometimes. --- I intend to continue reading Babel today. I'll be getting into chapter 8, I believe. Looking forward to it.
I think I've been brainwashed. Sometimes it's really hard for me to break out of the spell that has clearly been cast on me and makes me think inside a tiny little box. It's very frustrating, especially when I'm thinking through things and I end up reaching some roadblock, I realize my own misconceptions and discordances. In a way, that's great, that I'm able to think things over and realize something's wrong about what I thought, on the other hand though it's a pain in the ass. I think digital piracy is an objectively good and moral thing to do. That's a bit of a hot take, I realize, but I really believe that. I've always been a pirate and I'll probably continue to sail the digital seas until my death, but I've done it flying a couple of erroneous flags. The first, was the simple fact that I had no access to the things I was pirating. I couldn't afford them! My parents wouldn't buy them for me and I had no way to make money, so I couldn't buy them. There were no movie theatres where I lived, no CD or DVD shops, no game stores, and the online services that were available were either too expensive or too inconvenient to be of any use. The only way for me to get these things was to pirate them. This is a ridiculous notion, of course. The reality is that I could buy these things if I really wanted to, it's just that I prioritized other investments. There's also the rather obvious fact that I could just... Not get the things at all. I mean, even if I couldn't afford something, maybe I just shouldn't have it! I think that particular rebuttal is terrible and wrong, but it is something I hadn't even considered for a long time, as a kid. The second flag was something I ended up thinking a bit later in life, when I developed a more advanced (if still weak) sense of reason. It was that it was wrong to pirate, period, but I just didn't care. "Yes, I'm a bad person, but I don't care." I think this one isn't that bad, actually. It's cringe and self-aggrandizing, sure, but it does make a fair point. The idea that lays in this sentiment of willing-evil is that piracy is good, actually, I just can't put into words *why* it's good. I believe that what makes something bad is our unwillingness to do it. First of all, I see morality as relative and individual, and that if we do something and don't feel bad about it, then it cannot be wrong, by our own personal standards. Even as I said that piracy was bad, but I just didn't care, I was admitting that piracy *wasn't* bad, actually, **because** I didn't care. Still, it was very poorly worded. Now, I fly what I believe to be the correct banner: the nobility of art. Art is meant to be shared, internalized, analysed, explored, understood, and appreciated. If art isn't any of that, then it isn't art, it serves no purpose it has no place **it is nothing**. Now, me watching a pirated show doesn't give it any more value than some rando watching it legally, but allow me raise the point that what I'm doing by enjoying a piece of art is not a bad thing, no matter how you put it. I'm doing what is supposed to be done. How I get there doesn't harm anyone, doesn't cause pain or distress, and, simply put, I don't feel bad doing it, so how can it be bad? Well, I think it isn't. So no part of what I'm doing is bad, so what I'm doing as a whole cannot be bad. So it's not bad. There! I don't deny the fact that piracy may contribute to shows getting cancelled when they don't pull in enough capital, that not paying small artists for their work can lead their passion to become unsustainable, yes all of that is true. Then again, I raise the question of whether that should be true. Sure, what I'm participating in can have negative consequences, but should it? Should the free sharing of art have negative consequences? Should someone's livelihood depend so intensely on selling something that should be shared regardless? Should my dollars staying in my pocket mean that a movie that should be made, isn't? I don't think so. I think that the way things are set up is the problem, I think that, if digital piracy causes problems, then something is wrong with the system. The way art is created and the way artists make their living is wrong. That's what I think. I don't want this to sound like I'm blaming artists somehow, that's not the point. The thing is that art should be valued, yes, but not commodified. Art shouldn't be gate-kept by dollars it should be open and free. The fact that it isn't is a problem. The fact there's a debate about whether or not digital piracy is bad is indicative that there's something out there---the way things are done---that's bad. Hopefully I managed to get the point across. I realize it sounds a little weak. Some people might even think that it sounds like an excuse to continue something good, a sort of double-think. I disagree. I really think that digital piracy is a good thing for being a vehicle for the sharing of art, and that every complaint laid against piracy should be redirected towards capitalism, I guess. Not sure if capitalism is the right culprit here, necessarily, there's a lot that capitalism can be and good is one of those things, in my opinion, even if it often fails its people. Whatever. --- Yesterday I read just a bit of Babel. I liked this chapter much more, but for some reason I just didn't finish it. Maybe I got a bit anxious and had a hard time getting through it? Not sure, not sure. Today I'll try and give it a solid go. Also, I came across this podcast called Timesuck. Seems really cool, though I haven't listened to enough of it to make a definite judgement. --- I had a lot of fun today.
I end up thinking about The Magnus Archives pretty often. My best guess as to why is that the show is a mix of narrative storytelling and anthology, which by their very nature collect disparate and unique experiences into a single story. In other words, there's just a lot of stuff in MAG so there's a lot of stuff that can remind me of MAG. Still, it pains me. Every single time, it pains me. The Magnus Protocol isn't as good as MAG, not even close. Well, that's an unfair assessment, I suppose, but I don't like it nearly as much. What made MAG great to me were the stories, not the plot. The plot was great, don't get me wrong, but it was the cherry on top, not the main dish. The many characters, the fears being slowly introduced, weird interpretations of classic tropes, that's what made MAG amazing, that's what makes it my favourite audio drama of all time. Then I'm left thinking: *How?* I love character depth. I love exploring the minutiae of a person and laying bare their flaws, their inconsistencies, I love learning about what makes them tick, what makes them human or monstrous, or both, but the anthology side of MAG isn't good at that. Sure, there are recurring characters that get gradually explored at a snail's pace, but the best episodes tend to be the ones where we learn very little about the characters. The answer is *the world*, that's what carries MAG. Learning about this weird and terrifying world, one episode at a time, illuminating its darkest corners, crossing the most dangerous intersections. The world is the main character. Maybe they caught lightning in a bottle and MAG simply can't be replicated. I'd like to think that's not the case, but it's hard to keep up hope after searching for so long and finding nothing that even comes close. The typical recommendations are good, sure, but they're not The Magnus Archives. I'll keep looking, I'm always looking. --- I read only 1 chapter of Babel last night. Time played a role, but really I just didn't enjoy that one chapter very much. It was technically good---R. F. Kuang has fantastic prose---but narratively it left something to be desired, or at the very least it leaned on a part of the narrative that I'm less interested in. It did leave me thinking about secret societies and shadow organizations. I love the idea of villainous cabals (forgive the pleonasm). Really, there's too much good in the world... Weird thing to say, seeing how much evil there is, but I think there's an odd sort of middle-ground that we've yet to strike. Here's my take: if there was a terrible organization focused on causing chaos (rather than pain) without any motive, the world would be better. It would be more... Whimsical, to have a force of actual evil. Not a terrorist organization with a goal or some sentiment for this or that, but a group of individuals focused on inconveniencing at the institutional level. Wouldn't that be funny? I'm a strong believer in *quid pro quo*. I believe that if such an organization were to arise, an equal and opposite force for good would also spring up. That would be delightful, I think. --- I've thought up something about that story I've been thinking about. I'll go ahead and make a skeleton, a scaffold I can build on. Basically, I'll write up the story without the majority of details and then go back and fill them in. I'm aware this isn't a novel idea (pun intended) but if it works, it works. --- I'll be reading more Babel tonight.
I've been thinking about this for a very long time. Many years. I suppose that's really not *that* long, in the grand scheme of things, but it feels like a long time to me. I read a lot, I always have. In recent years I've been reading less than I once did, but every so often I get back into the habit, especially when a new book comes out (or I finally learn of a book that *has been out*) that interests me. I started reading Babel, by R. F. Kuang a couple of days ago and I've been loving it. I read Book I and found it contained everything I love about fiction. There was whimsy, passion, intrigue, but also depth, politics, and social commentary. I love books that talk (and criticize) the way things are. Still, as I read it I just couldn't shake the drive to write something myself. It's not that I have that much to say, not really, though I do have some things I think are worth reading, but it's more that I love the written form so much that I feel a need to contribute to it. I feel the need to write something because otherwise it's like I took without giving back, I read without writing. I know this is silly, totally and utterly silly, but I can't help it. I have story ideas, some of which I've tried to put to paper (pixel), but I always end up dropping the undertaking before anything gets going. The worst part of this is that I know I need to write to get better, but writing is so hard I find it almost impossible to force myself to push through my painful mediocrity to reach the promised shangri-la of tolerable prose. At the end of the day, I manage to convince myself there will be other people that see the world the same way I do, or at least close enough that the differences are negligible, and they can be the one to write what I want to. That's terrible, that's such a terrible way to think, even as I write this I see how terrible it is but the notion has dug itself a very comfortable home in my mind. Is this what Orwell meant when he spoke of double-think? The conviction that something is wrong and yet the knowledge that it is right? Maybe I'm stupid. Or sick. Both are equally bad. --- Today was a decent day, I didn't really do much. I watched a livestream, as I usually do, had a mediocre lunch, ate a pack of cookies, drank enough water to drown a small child, and did some work. I should've done more work, but I have time, and time lets me push things back, and back, and back, until I don't have any more time. There was a clock in the game the streamer was playing, but she could move the hands at will. The back tire of my bike was deflated, somehow. I'm not sure if there's a hole or not. --- One story idea I've been itching to get out is kinda like Groundhog Day meets Love is War. A guy is forced to relive the same day until he manages to get a girl to fall in love with him. The twist is that the girl is already in love with him and she simply refuses to admit it, just as he refuses to admit he's in love with her. It's not a fantasy setting, but I always imagine lots of fantasy elements... I'm not sure if the guy is going insane or what, but I love the idea of him seeing the world as very magical. The girl has a witch hat and casts spells. They don't *really* work, but he feels like they work. It's comedic, whimsical, I love that. Eventually, he just confesses to the girl, desperate, and she decides to go on a date with him. The loop breaks. I don't know, I think it could be really cool. I suppose what really makes or breaks a story, especially a romantic comedy, are the small things. The secondary characters, the tiny interactions, the small words and little sentences, the shrugs and the sighs, so delineating an idea has no merit whatsoever. I have to write it. Whatever. The day isn't over just yet, I might write a bit. Or not. I'll think about it. I will read though, of that I'm pretty sure. A couple chapters at least. I'm really loving Babel. I've been listening to Opus, by Ryuichi Sakamoto. It's really good. Recommended.