askchapo Magician • 5mo ago • 0%

I don't think the place is here, but is there a safe space for leftists to talk about sex and dating?

I understand that Hexbear has young and vulnerable people, making it potentially unsafe for something as personal and private as sexuality, but I was wondering if there are many online spaces that are friendly and nonjudgmental for that. There are topics I'd like to discuss like classism in hookup culture/kink communities, but I don't want to make people uncomfortable. I also can't account for wreckers and just general topic derailment. Also in general, are there considerations I should take when broaching these topics in online spaces? I feel like we're doing a good job of protecting people from sex pests and I don't want to make a safe place unsafe.

chapotraphouse Magician • 5mo ago • 0%

So the Neuralink patient's implant is already failing.

www.popsci.com

I'm not surprised given the person in charge, but I still feel bad for the guy. Being almost completely paralyzed, it makes total sense to jump at the chance to get some normalcy back. I didn't expect 85% of the wires to already detach at this point. In a just society, the whole company would be shut down and the CEO put into a bottomless pit.

chat Magician • 6mo ago • 0%

It's disturbing how even left-leaning YouTubers try to weave in ad plugs.

It's like I can feel myself detach from whatever topic I'm listening to as I expect it to be a lead up for Raid Shadow Legends. It's like I'm gonna disengage from serious things because I'm just waiting to see how they are going to ask for money. I get it's to keep engagement, but it's doing the opposite. I don't want you to slip between conversation into a commercial like that's not creepy as fuck. It's like the Truman show, but nobody's even watching you. I dunno, it's not fun out here.

chapotraphouse Magician • 6mo ago • 0%

Just remembered this was a thing.

Fun Magician extended universe lore - this was the podcast that broke my liberal brain and pushed me towards communism. From Wikipedia: >Mueller, She Wrote is a political podcast hosted by Allison Gill, a military veteran who worked at the United States Department of Veterans Affairs. It mixes comedy, legal commentary and political analysis, from a liberal perspective, and centers on the Mueller investigation. The original co-hosts were San Diego comedians Jordan Coburn and Jaleesa Johnson; the latter has since left the show due to a pay dispute. I remember feeling lost after trump got elected and hoped that something would come of the Mueller report. It's wild to think I believed an FBI investigation run by a Republican would to anything to shake up the system, but there were plenty of people who believed it. These hosts would give updates on the investigation and other bits of news, but it started feeling hollow around the third 'this time he's really in trouble!' story. The simping for Mueller like he was going to solve things felt hollower and hollower until I stopped listening altogether. I read up on them a few years later and saw them vote shaming people who were considering withholding their vote for healthcare and student debt forgiveness. I also found out they benefited from PPP loans they didn't have to reimburse. Hypocrisy exposed is an empty victory, but it felt vindicating to know leaving that whole bubble was a good decision. Finally, I hate the logo so much. Like they were doing investigative journalism or something by collecting headlines from news websites. I dunno. I just wanted to air out my vitriol while it was fresh. Did anybody else follow it or similar podcasts before moving left?

doomer Magician • 7mo ago • 100%

It just doesn't feel worth it to keep trying.

I feel like writing this is asking for pity or something, but I just want to express this feeling I have. I had a family who took my childhood from me and had me in service to their needs instead. I wasn't allowed to be innocent - I had to look after my siblings and be a therapist for my parents. I wasn't allowed to say no or to feel. I was ignored and overlooked because I met their needs and somehow found the energy to meet mine enough to go to college. I was threatened with homelessness if I didn't go to college and I was promised my education would be paid for. Instead, I got into a school and had to take out loans. I took care of myself as an adult, but my conditioning was such that I jumped to my family's rescue whenever their lives imploded. Family was supposed to look out for each other, and I had the assumption that they would do the same for me in a similar situation. I never let myself get into that situation. I walked to Coin Star with my change jar to pay for gas money, refusing to need them. I doubted they would come to my rescue, but I didn't want to spend my one *rescue* on something I could take care of myself. I struggled independently and found the resources to help my family every time for over a decade of my adult life. I worked and saved and carved out a life for myself. And then the pandemic started. I got another degree and I was on top of the world for two days before a family emergency called me back to reality. I put my career on hold and suffered a terrible financial loss that same year. But I know my (relative) would be dead right now if it weren't for me. But then when I asked for time to recover from my own hardships, I was met with the same shaming they always gave me. They asked why I couldn't be financially established not two weeks after getting out of the hospital. Like I wasn't the one taking them to physical therapy. Making office calls. Acting as an unpaid caseworker, nurse, driver, cook, and housekeeper. I thought this time would be different - I did so much that I thought it was incontrovertible how much I contributed. That I would be allowed the space to breathe for a little bit without the fault-finding coming back in full. I thought they would see me for the work I did for them. I thought they would treat me with love and acceptance. I thought I would finally be seen. I'm struggling now to get back to a semblance of where I once was. I'm not living up to my potential. I know that's bullshit phrasing and oversimplifying my situation. But it's hard. I finally went no contact, but it feels like something broke in me. I tried so hard to be treated with decency by the people who were supposed to love me and I failed. I know they failed me, but I see the effort and energy I put into caring about others at cost to myself and I just can't justify wanting to do anything anymore. I don't want to try. I can just keep my mask on and work as the world passes me by. I don't see trying as getting me anything I wanted or needed because I can't remember a time where it has. I know this isn't true, but the feeling is so hard to shake. I'm getting therapy and I'm finally seeing the extent of the damage done to me before I was old enough to understand, but it's so much. It's just digging and digging and digging until I'm so tired that I forget why I'm even doing it in the first place. I'm trying so hard to keep going and I only do so because I don't want to make good people sad or bad people happy. I still try even though the deepest part of me feels like it's pointless. I know it's not pointless, but I just feel pain every time I start to think things could get better. I just needed to get this out there because I don't have anywhere else to put this, but if this resonates with anyone, how did you get out of this mindset?

chat Magician • 7mo ago • 100%

I'm a passenger in a long ass road trip. Anybody want to talk about anything?

I'm in the fortunate space of guilt-free posting. Talk about weird shit or whatever.

chapotraphouse Magician • 8mo ago • 100%

What's with the genre of YouTuber reacting to a previously recorded video of them playing a game?

Like them playing animal crossing or whatever, reading the character text aloud and then reacting like they're full-on having a conversation? They are framed as though playing the game in real time, but it's clear that they're reacting to a video of playing. It feels like watching someone play dolls or something and I can't stand it. They're reacting to it like the characters are real. The YouTuber might talk about some of their own lives every now and then, but it all just feels so empty and I'm having a hard time understanding what the appeal is. My partner loves these kinds of videos and I'm trying to figure out what it is about them that people like. Is there some comfort to them that I'm not getting?

the_dunk_tank Magician • 8mo ago • 100%

And just when I thought liberal ads couldn't get more insufferable.

Do these condescending automated messages work on people? I can't wrap my head around the strategy behind taking a tone like this with your voter base. Fuck outta here.

chapotraphouse Magician • 9mo ago • 97%

It's been three years since Biden's inauguration and they've done nothing to incentivize people to vote for him a second time.

I don't get how libs can tolerate being taken for granted like this. They're not being mature or practical - they're accepting mistreatment by an establishment sworn to serve them. Trump and his supporters aren't better, but at least he's telling them what they want to hear. He at least made sure to get checks out to people and had his signature stamped on them. I dunno, at least there's a strategy there. And Biden has had four fucking years and he's done nothing to get people motivated to vote or even register to vote. Not even going into his participation in genocide, it's just a lack of strategy to the point of self-sabotage. And the entire Democratic party is complicit in all of it. It's like they want to lose, because all I'm hearing are about how bad trump is/was. And it's like, I was fucking there. And after three years, all they can offer is to give him a verbal reprimand and coverage on every major news network, speech, and social media posting. It's just mind-blowing to think of the wasted time and energy on the part of the US political system.

I have a couple of older relatives who only communicate via phone call and I hate talking on the phone. My other relatives don't stay in contact as often as I do, so I feel bad not reaching out and keeping them company. Do you have any strategies to manage the energy drain from phone calls?

em_poc Magician • 10mo ago • 97%

What are some things you want our comrades to know?

As I'm sitting here thinking about getting a haircut, I realized that it didn't carry the same weight for my non-black peers. You see, I got more or less accused of being suspicious at work by a customer who said there was a sketchy person in the parking lot. I was taking my lunch break in my car. I knew I've put off getting a haircut and shave in some time, but I started to understand that this is a way to regain a sense of safety. I started to weigh the options: do I keep my hair and beard growing or do I get the cut and shave I planned? How much of that is what I want, and how much of that is for a concern about my safety? Mind you, I still intend to make myself look good, but it's hard to disentangle safety concerns from everyday decisions in a racist environment. It already sucks being assumed unhygienic or unintelligent because of the way I wear my hair. I don't need people thinking I'm sketchy because you can see my beard when I take my mask off. I guess if I had to sum up the answer per my posts question - I want my non-black comrades to know that it takes a lot of mental energy to make seemingly mundane decisions. It's okay to ask why if you don't understand, but I don't want you to trivialize my concerns about safety. What about you? Is there something you feel like gets taken for granted as a person of color in even leftist spaces? I know I don't know the experiences of other marginalized groups as well as my own, and I'd like to have a conversation on how to be better with my peers.

askchapo Magician • 10mo ago • 100%

Why did you pick your profile pic?

Or just feel free to talk about it. My profile picture is the Magician enemy from the game Persona 3, based on the major arcana. I kept the picture because it reminds me of  when it's rounded. What about you?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_room It's a pretty cool thought experiment about a hypothetical person locked in a room. In the room they have books on Chinese words, phrases, and grammar. They receive a sheet of paper with Chinese written on it and send out a written response using the books as reference. The person inside the room doesn't know what they're writing and the outside person doesn't know that they don't understand Chinese. It really speaks to me in how I navigate a lot of social connections without knowing why. I receive an input, and while I'm not sure why, I'm conditioned to respond in a specific way. The thought experiment reminds me of masking and how it's hard to explain to someone you don't understand. Because of their perception of your actions/words, they assume you understand the fundamental idea. When I keep up the mask, I know that it's easier to do things in certain ways and hide evidence of misunderstanding. I think that's where a level of isolation happens for me. It's like I'm locked in a room away from people and my communication is filtered through a system I don't understand at all. I dunno, I was just thinking about thought experiments in general and how neurodiversity can show up. Does anybody else have thoughts on the Chinese Room or other thought experiments in relation to a neurodiverse experience?

the_dunk_tank Magician • 10mo ago • 99%

Oh wow! You mean he could have done this almost three years ago?

I'm happy to see anybody unburdened by the US legal system, but there's something underwhelming about the most powerful politician in the country only now deigning to use his executive power. People are cheering and memeing in unsurprising  fashion and I'm like bruh, he could have done this and more. Years ago. And they're talking about the necessity of voting and how bad trump would be. Like where do you think Brandon was when drafting the anti marijuana bills? That said, I don't want to come across as unreasonable when good things happen. If a lib approached me and shared this news, what would be an appropriate response? [Link because I got that bird box disease where I want to make people to see the thing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/comments/18oktc0/how_about_some_good_news_today/)

It was stuff about queer people with autism, but I was looking more for people's experience with juggling the autism experience with having an identity that sometimes depends on subtle cues, code switching, social etiquette, etc. So, are there any reliable resources on exploring queerness while on the spectrum? Or if you have experiences or insight, that'd be cool too.

I'm in my mid thirties and only now am I coming to terms with my neurodivergence. I'm one of the lucky people to have access to health care and the time to educate myself on the topics of neurodiversity and mental health. And with all of that, I have only recently started to take notice of how my childhood experience affected my perception of people and how the world works. I won't go into intense details for several reasons, but long-story short - my parents were deeply unwell and in forcing me to hide and overlook their mental health, I currently have to spend time trying to sort out what I now find acceptable, healthy, and loving. Being on the spectrum and lacking the resources to navigate an allistic world was hard enough. I had to make an approximation of normal without having consistent practice with it. I feel sad that I'm in my thirties and still seek out the approval of people I don't know. Especially when those people exist in spaces where it's not safe for them to know me, like online, or at bigoted in-person spaces. I don't feel like I got a chance to make human mistakes and now that I'm on my own for the first time in my life, I lack the tools and connections to safely unlearn unhealthy behaviors and learn new healthy behaviors. I know I'm not the only one, and I'm glad that this comm is around to meet and troubleshoot solutions. Sometimes I feel like I don't understand a joke in a post and I'm afraid to lose the game of chicken, becoming the first person to ask if a person was serious. Sometimes I'll check my comments for up votes to make sure I'm not being cruel to someone without knowing. I was convinced I was cruel and carrying that belief has made me so vulnerable to manipulation. I've had to create a mask that convinces people that I'm in on the joke. That I know better and any mistake I make could conceivably be intentional. I can't feel vulnerable and I look at people as a collection of warnings and threats instead of human beings who might treat me like I'm human too. I have an exit plan on the off chance somebody sees through my mask, because that was the most dangerous thing in my childhood. Already feeling out of touch with my body, I had to exist outside of myself to make sure that I didn't present any image that reflected poorly on my parents. Precious bandwidth dedicated to something I don't really even care about. My family was shitty and they should feel shitty, but I have my attention focused outward on how others see me. Because that's what they policed. I didn't get to pay attention to my inner world, the outer world, or the real ways the two interacted. My heart goes out to any kid that's experienced trauma, but this is the way I experienced it - as part of a community underserved by an allistic society that prioritizes the aesthetics of a nuclear family. But knowing all this, I can feel some comfort in the fact that I found a community here where I can share my experiences and contribute to a world that values and people like me.

This could be mechanical things like the order of adjectives, or more complex/personal things on your journey of learning another language. I want to start learning Norwegian again and I remembered learning a lot about citrus fruits as I went on Wikipedia adjacent trips.

askchapo Magician • 11mo ago • 90%

You can have a conversation with any fictional character. Who do you choose and why?

I would pick Magneto from the X-Men comics. I think if he was written by better writers and comics weren't the vessel of a lot of fascistic ideals, he wouldn't come off as 'villain who goes too far'. His backstory is so much more interesting than what powers he has. He survived the Holocaust as a child and when his powers developed, he sought out other people like him to prevent future atrocities. He formed the Brotherhood of ~~Evil ~~ Mutants and opposed humanity's attempt to kill or control mutants. He's long-lived because his experience as a Holocaust survivor is integral to his character. With that age, he's been well-read, studying science, history, literature, and art. He's educated and due to the way comics keep the timeline contemporary, he's bound to have strongly formed opinions on whatever is happening. Having incredible power on top of that makes for such interesting questions. "Why don't you just  more often?" "How much more efficient are trains when you can move them with your mind?" "What are your thoughts on the concept of dehumanization?" I dunno. Sometimes I see interesting characters and get frustrated that they're not talking about their lives or experiences. They're restrained by capitalism and you don't get to see cool interpretations of characters who you're supposed to believe are real people. I'd love to helm a rewrite of Magneto to make him aggressively anticapitalist and antiracist  I know. But it's like this character has studied the world on how to prevent fascism and genocide and he's still not calling out the contradictions of capitalism. He's not pointing out how oppression is used as a tool for profit. I want to see the guy who read Marx and then got superpowers.

chapotraphouse Magician • 11mo ago • 100%

Anthropologist digging through the wreckage: It's the year 2023 and this is our humor.

I thought it would be funny if I cropped out the author's name on the article, but I decided grace, [citing my sources to avoid the irony singularity](https://hard-drive.net/hd/entertainment/youtuber-james-somerton-releases-suspiciously-familiar-4-hour-apology-video/)

askchapo Magician • 11mo ago • 100%

What do you have for a 'self-care' playlist?

I just mean things you do or can do for yourself as part of self-care? Here are some of mine: Relaxation Break - 10 Minutes: Like if you're sitting at a desk, or have some time where you can steal five minutes away from whatever's bothering you. Little Chore - 5 Minutes: Some small productive thing you can do in that time and no longer. Like if you want to do some dishes or you want to replace the toilet paper roll. Listen to Music uninterrupted - ? Minutes: Pick a song or an album and just let it rip without getting up to do anything. This one is really hard for me where even doing a 2 minute song was hard. Watch something - 2 Hours: Movie, video essay, anime, whatever. Challenge - Impossible: Do it without doomscrolling.