why do i constantly oscillate between having an a) intense work ethic where i consistently work hard and manage money wisely or b) pure gluttony and hedonism where i spend freely and accumulate debt

when i do A for long enough and my overall net worth comes close enough to zero, i switch to B and am only sometimes capable of wrangling it in

it seems impossible to actually have a balance - those two philosophies make the most sense (trying hard vs nothing matters)

whyyyy. furthermore, are there any good ways to manage this that aren’t sort of self-flagellating or overly concerned with minutia (ie like the YNAB thing). no cult stuff pls