transenby_liberation
Thank you to: [@emi@lemmy.blahaj.zone](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/u/emi) for the amazing [Resource Collection Thread](https://lemmy.world/post/179686) [@Dislodge3233@feddit.de](https://feddit.de/u/Dislodge3233) for the [International HIV PReP](https://lemmy.world/post/92075) [@fadingembers@lemmy.blahaj.zone](https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/u/fadingembers) for the [Hair loss recovery for Transfems guide](https://lemmy.world/post/1332401) --- ## Comment with your favorite resources I missed here, I plan to revisit and edit with additional resources as time goes on. --- > |Crisis Lines|| > |------------|---| > |[Trevor Project](https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/)| Connect to a LGBTQ understanding crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S. It is 100% confidential, and 100% free.| * see https://hexbear.net/comment/3623092 > |[Trans Lifeline](https://translifeline.org/hotline/)| Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support phone service run by trans people for our trans and questioning peers. Call us if you need someone trans to talk to, even if you’re not in crisis or if you’re not sure if you’re trans.| > |[Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide)|Hotlines available internationally| > |[RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)](https://www.rainn.org/)|RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE, [online.rainn.org](https://online.rainn.org/) & [rainn.org/es](https://online.rainn.org/)| > |[LGBT Youth Hotline](https://www.youthline.ca/)|LGBT YouthLine is a *2SLGBTQ+ youth-led organization that affirms and supports the experiences of youth (29 and under) across Ontario.| > |[988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline](https://988lifeline.org/)| The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.| --- --- > ## Resources > > > [Trans Lifeline Resources](https://translifeline.org/resources/) More than just the hotline, they have a great page linking to many resources, including but not limited to... [ID Change Library](https://translifeline.org/resources/id-change-library/), [Community-Based Crisis Support Resources](https://translifeline.org/resources/community-based-crisis-support/), A [Binding Guide for All Genders](https://translifeline.org/resources/community-based-crisis-support/), [Microgrants for some legal and medical fees](https://translifeline.org/microgrants/#types), and [much more you can easily search](https://translifeline.org/resources/). > > [The Trans Resistance Network](https://transresistancenetwork.wordpress.com/) Formed to ensure the survival of gender diverse people and families through strategic coordination of resources for relocation, alternative systems of gender-affirming care, mutual aid, and community defense. > > [Erin’s National Informed Consent Clinics Map](https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1DxyOTw8dI8n96BHFF2JVUMK7bXsRKtzA&ll=-3.81666561775622e-14%2C-109.09443705000001&z=2) Erin Reed’s informed consent map lists every informed consent hormone therapy clinic. > >[Rainbow Passage](https://rainbowpassage.org/) Providing transportation for individuals in harm's way, with a focus on bringing them to the Sanctuary States and Cities. Safely escorting individuals to communities with the necessary legal, financial, educational, and medical resources to meet their needs. > >[Rainbow Railroad](https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/) Rainbow Railroad is a global not-for-profit organization that helps at-risk LGTBQI+ people get to safety worldwide. Based in the United States and Canada, we’re an organization that helps LGBTQI+ people facing persecution based on their sexual orientation, gender identity and sex characteristics > >[Elevated Access](https://www.elevatedaccess.org/) Elevated Access was launched in 2022 in response to the extreme healthcare bans being enacted in state legislatures. We are a non-profit organization that enables people to access healthcare by providing flights on private planes at no cost. Our volunteer pilot network transports clients seeking abortion or gender-affirming care across the United States. > >[Transgender Map](https://www.transgendermap.com/) This free website shows how to make a gender transition.It tells about gender identity and gender expression, as well as the social, legal, and medical ways to make a transgender transition. > >[Hudson's FtM Guide](https://ftmguide.org/) This Guide is intended to provide information on topics of interest to female-to-male (FTM, F2M) trans men, and their friends and loved ones. Non-trans men have also found the pages on men's grooming and clothing to be helpful. Transgender, cisgender, intersex, non-binary, genderqueer, questioning, and "just plain folks" are all welcome. > >[Gender Spectrum](https://www.genderspectrum.org/) Gender Spectrum is a national organization committed to the health and well-being of gender- diverse children and teens through education and support for families, and training and guidance for educators, medical and mental health providers, and other professionals. > >[Trans Health Project](https://transhealthproject.org/) The Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund's Trans Health Project aims to ensure that all transgender and non-binary people can access the trans-related health care that they need. > >[Trans Resources](https://trans-resources.info/) Trans-Resources aims to help transgender, non-binary, and other gender non-conforming people find resources where they live. Our goal is to be a directory of advocacy organizations, legal resources, support & social groups, and other resources that servce the trans community. > >[LGBTQ Healthcare Directory](https://lgbtqhealthcaredirectory.org/) The LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory is a project of the Tegan and Sara Foundation and GLMA – Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ+ Equality. It is a free, searchable database of all kinds of doctors, medical professionals and healthcare providers who are knowledgeable and sensitive to the unique health needs of LGBTQ+ people in the USA and Canada. > >[UK Gender Kit](https://genderkit.org.uk/) Gender Construction Kit, the UK guide to changing things that are linked to gender. > >[ICKY_MTF_GUIDE](https://app.gumroad.com/r/649db0476387d57bd3e8275923bda62d/unL7SkikFFiezo3BfUf8lg==) I’m Icky also known as Ashley I believe that info about medically transitioning should be super easy to attain and not require 100 google tabs and a medical degree to understand. > >[Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en) The purpose of this site is to document the many ways that gender dysphoria can manifest, as well as the numerous forms of gender transition, in order to provide a guide for those who are questioning, those who are starting their transgender journey, those already on their path, and those who simply wish to be better allies. > >[Beehaw.org LGBTQ+ Wiki](https://docs.beehaw.org/docs/community-wikis/lgbtq_plus/) Parts of this page have been adapted from the Global Transgender Resources Registry, the Tildes ~lgbt wiki (to which one of our admins was a previous contributor), and Emi’s blahaj.zone thread > >[FtM Packer+ Spreadsheet](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/115zI3opsYcJAiygoiH0d0MIghMRz3WMcivXeDQ9wbkQ/htmlview) Includes information on Binders, Packers, and More > >[HRT Coffee](https://hrt.coffee) information about HRT, and sourcing, bodily autonomy is a human right. That means everyone has a right to choose what does or does not happen to their body. Not being updated please refer to: [diyhrt cafe](https://diyhrt.cafe/) > >[nominal.naomi's research document](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WZBpR9Ll3lNi7-ig8FvB2grMlhsmRZNa34cROGK2rEE/edit) A great document containing research documents related to trans health and more > >[/r/asktransgender wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/wiki/resources/) Provided below are a list of general resources to help everybody out. > > [Check out What_Religion_R_They's DIY post](https://hexbear.net/post/876371) --- --- ::: spoiler gathered from https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/ , lemmy.world , hexbear.net, and beehaw.org (warning beehaw is lib central) :::
Leslie time, y'all. Surprisingly, this is my first Leslie post of the week. Consider yourselves lucky. Up for discussion this week is anything from chapters 7 through 8. These discussion points kinda majorly fucking suck still. * What are your feelings about the book overall? * How did you react to Leslie spitting mad anti-capitalist facts in chapter 8? :CommiePOGGERS: * Are you still on your "lesser-of-two-evils" bullshit? 👀 * What did you learn? * Was anything eye opening to you? * Are there any misconceptions about particular aspects of the trans community that have maybe been torn down? * Did anything make you reflect on how you view your own gender identity or expression? * Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh * Are there things that brought out intense emotion? * Was there anything that really reaffirmed your beliefs as a leftist or motivated you to be more based like Leslie? - Please, God. Remove me from this nightmare. This thread will be featured for 24 hours then will remain pinned in [!transenby_liberation](/c/transenby_liberation) for the remainder of the week. I'm thinking about keeping a general discussion thread pinned in the comm for anyone listening to the audio books to chime in and drop comments. [original thread](https://hexbear.net/post/27754) [week #1 thread](https://hexbear.net/post/42175) [week #2 thread](https://hexbear.net/post/45035) [pdf download](http://libgen.rs/book/index.php?md5=7F40B79C51F53181C22C825CA65A6DB6) [epub download](http://libgen.rs/book/index.php?md5=AA91EA586AB72D155ED454EDAA7A17CF) - Huge shout out to comrade [@EugeneDebs](/u/EugeneDebs) for putting this together. I realized I didn't credit them in either post but here it is. I appreciate your efforts. ❤️ [chapter 1 audiobook](https://vocaroo.com/1bcGsi6dCGYc) - Huge shout out to comrade [@futomes](/u/futomes) for recording these. No words can truly express my appreciation for this. Thank you so much. ❤️ [chapter 2 audiobook](https://vocaroo.com/18SFWXDu6VXQ) [chapter 3 audiobook](https://vocaroo.com/16v6Kdaq3NRT) [chapter 4 audiobook](https://voca.ro/122N3CcTy63Y) [chapter 5 audiobook](https://voca.ro/1dXn3yHNBHY5) [chapter 6 audiobook](https://vocaroo.com/1nm4vlepw11y) [chapter 7 audiobook](https://voca.ro/1jxpQsRjmuK5) [chapter 8 audiobook](https://voca.ro/1fr5amuSiQfz)
Short version, I wanna change my names (first and middle two) sometime this year to something more audibly enby. I have a bunch of stuff I think sounds neat, but is that all it needs? Like it feels fake at some level, or like an affectation. I don't know what names resonate with me or if they're even supposed to. I feel like this is a common experience so maybe I could get some advice? I do want names that stand out, but also ones that don't make me sound full of myself, but...also need something that resonates with me and I'm so confused and lost 
As someone who is AFAB and has naturally high testosterone, yeah it's bringing up some painful feelings. Fuck these assholes.
I don't really know why, but this evening while being frustrated at a parent for them being extremely difficult as they rapidly age, I got really emotional thinking about the therapy thing where you identify and acknowledge your own irrational counterproductive feelings while thinking of how your upbringing conditioned you into having them, and then doing an imaginary dialogue with your child self and telling them how those negative thoughts and shit aren't really their fault and you love and accept them for who they are and so on and so on  That got me really fucked up for awhile about how a lot of my mental health issues are downstream from that kind of weird unspoken structure of cis/het normative parenting where your lib normie parents might be supportive of LGBTQIA rights in the abstract and are on fairly good terms with their lesbian sister, but it's like they both knew you seemed kinda *z e s t y* since you were a toddler, and you always felt pressured to "be normal" growing up and how that repressed and fucked you up into your late teens. I got really emotional imagining what it'd be like growing up in a culture where queerness was completely destigmatized, or having parent(s) who were LGBTQIA and never made you feel like you ever had to repress parts of your identity to just "be normal," and now I'm just feeling shitty imagining better timelines and better versions of myself with way fewer psychological hangups and way more happiness. Sorry for the sad post blog shit, I just kinda felt like I had to scream into the void somewhere 
cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/5183822 > yeesh > > Cry me a river, Elon
I have been identifying myself as non-binary because sometimes I feel like a dude, sometimes I feel like a women, and sometimes I feel like I'm sliding around the spectrum of both at the same time. But a lot of the time I feel like I have no gender at all. Which as I understand it, is what people call agender. Am I right in calling myself non-binary or should I be calling myself agender? Or both? I feel like I should know these definitions better.
Say someone wanted to fill their bunker with HRT in case all trans healthcare in the US was blocked at some point, what would be the best way, and best resources for figuring out how to do that? These would be emergency backup, so wouldn't need to be a perfect regimen with injectables and progesterone. From what I've read so far, for estradiol you'd want to store precursors, because those can store indefinitely, unlike vials or even pills. But I don't really know where those come from, or how you go from precursor to something that can be ingested. I would appreciate any resources that could fill that in for me. I haven't really looked into t-blockers or t at all yet, because that wasn't as relevant to me. But if anyone's picked up any info on that, I'd love to know how it that would be done too, from a community support perspective. I know our UK siblings are broadly dealing with this already, so I'd appreciate any input you have. Sorry if there's already a megathread around for this somewhere already. I missed it. (I'm not really sure what the boundaries of what can be discussed here. But for that reason, I'll just mention that this is research for cozy post-apocalyptic videogame about a trans woman with no access to healthcare because her warlord is pretty shit. It's hyper-indie and not even on itch, and the art is all in pastels, and has the best fishing minigame you'll never play. I definitely want REAL WORLD practical resources though for my research. Realism is key to the ludonarrative experience I want to deliver.)
Apparently when I'm feeling masc I dress like a 70s Vegas drug dealer So many garish Hawaiian shirts 
I know you can get estrogen from horse urine as a feedstock, but there are other methods used today, right? Do they use other animal products? Petroleum? I'm just looking for a basic overview and don't know where else to look.
Long story short I have PCOS apparently. That means high testosterone. Why am I sharing this? I just think it's fucking shitty that I as an AFAB person can get feminizing hormone therapy after as little as a blood test, but if I was a trans woman or man, or if I wanted hormone therapy to affirm my being non-binary, I would most likely have to jump through all sorts of hoops. Anyway maybe I'm just pissy because going to the doctor always reminds me that most people see me as a just a butch woman. Feeling shitty and dysphoric.
It was a good read. Not at all what I expected. There really wasn't any gender theory at all and no attempt justifying gender identity. It was just full throated support for all gender identities, which was nice. I also found it really interesting how antiquated a lot of the language is after only two decades, but the message itself is at least as progressive as the conversations people are having now. There's such an emphasis on transness outside of binary trans people. I feel like this understanding of gender would really cut out a lot of the bullshit gatekeeping truscum arguments out. A lot of truscum look at enby or GNC people and say, "you're just a man in a dress" to which I think Feinberg would reply, "Yes, and?" Men in dresses also have an outlawed gender expression which deserves defending. Considering how armed fascists keep showing up to drag events, I think this view has been vindicated. I also find it interesting how s/he changes hir pronouns depending on the social context. To me, this level of fluidity acknowledges gender as a social manifestation as opposed to anything essential. Anyway, I'd like to read more. I was turned to Marxism through history, so I'd like to read up on pre-modern queer history. When I'm arguing with people about gender, I always bring up the fact that gender expression has varied throughout history and there are lots of examples of gender outside of the binary; however, I don't actually have specific examples that I am really familiar with. Could anyone recommend a book that goes over non-cis gender identities throughout history and the roles they played? I'd really prefer a central source that covers a lot of cases as opposed to a deep discussion of a single one. Thanks, comrades
Fuck off. Seriously. Eat all of my shit. Come back to me when you're an afab enby or a trans man, and then you can talk about how it feels to be emasculated. I've been made to feel like a fucking piece of trash for showing any masculinity my entire life, except I never even had a word for it, because for someone born without a dick, emasculation is norm. You don't know shit about shit.
Hi everyone, I haven't posted here in a while but I could use your input. I've been struggling recently with the clear shift toward trans genocide in the United States. I don't think we're there yet, but things are bad, getting worse, and the course seems unalterable at this point. I find myself alternating between periods of contentedness with my own day-to-day and absolute terror at the increasingly fascistic state of this country. I also happen to teach courses that discuss gender issues, and student attitudes have paralleled the national mood. I am now routinely dealing with hardline anti-trans students who have made my life difficult. I worry about my safety in the classroom, and especially fear being doxed by Libs of TikTok or the like. The other day I was driving to work in a panic about the gender topics I would need to teach that day and how they would be received. I felt genuinely very anxious and afraid. I was not in an ideal headspace. So what happens? I arrive at work, start heading toward my office, and immediately overhear two coworkers discussing trans issues. One of these colleagues is a gay philosophy professor who has expressed TERFy attitudes in the past, and this was not the first time I've caught him debating the *cough cough* "trans question" in the workplace. In the past I felt he was mostly just a liberal doofus who got exposed to TERF arguments but hadn't pursued them deeply. But now I'm beginning to think he's fully down the rabbit hole. Why would anyone else talk about the issue this much? Meanwhile the person he's discussing this with was someone I thought to be an ally. And sure enough, she seemed to be mostly defending trans people. But then I heard her use the word "pretend," as in *cis people must pretend trans people are who they say they are* and I just kind of snapped. I walked over to them and shouted (almost verbatim) YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE WHO AND WHAT WE ARE. THIS ISN'T YOUR BUSINESS. WE AREN'T YOUR PHILOSOPHY. STICK TO WHAT YOU KNOW. and stormed off. I then immediately walked into my classroom and skipped ahead to a different unit not focused on gender. My boss is supportive and said I won't be getting into trouble for this. He felt I was in the right and was annoyed that the other faculty seemed less concerned with what I'd said and more concerned that their freedom of speech was being intruded upon. It doesn't appear there will be repercussions, but I feel a bit guilty about how things transpired while also simultaneously still very angry about what I heard. I'm just pissed as hell. What should I do?
www.erininthemorning.com
> On Thursday, a legal filing by PFLAG National revealed that Attorney General Ken Paxton of Texas was seeking identification of transgender members. The organization alleges retaliation. ::: spoiler Full Text In a legal filing Thursday, PFLAG National sought to block a new demand from Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton that would require the organization to identify its Texas transgender members, doctors who work with them, and contingency plans for anti-transgender legislation in the state. The civil investigative demand, issued on Feb. 5, calls for extensive identifying information and records from the LGBTQ+ rights organization. PFLAG, in its filing to block the demands, describes them as "retaliation" for its opposition to anti-transgender laws in the state and alleges that they violate the freedom of speech and association protections afforded by the United States and Texas constitutions. The demands are extensive. The letter to PFLAG National demands "unredacted" information around claims made by Brian Bond, PFLAG's Chief Executive Officer, in a legal fight against the ban on gender-affirming care in the state. Bond's claims highlighted that PFLAG represents 1,500 members in Texas, many of whom are seeking contingency plans if SB14, the ban on gender-affirming care, takes effect. Per the lawsuit, PFLAG National states that it would be required to disclose Texas trans youth members, including "complete names, Social Security numbers, dates of birth, jobs, home addresses, telephone numbers, [and] email addresses." It also states they would need to hand over documents and communications related to their medical care, hospitals outside the state, and "contingency plans" discussed among members for navigating the new laws on gender-affirming care in Texas. You can see see some of the questions asked in the civil investigative demand here: - Demand for full information. -Demands that include substantiation of claims by Brian Bond, CEO of PFLAG National; these claims include the existence of 1,500 families in Texas. - Demands that include contingency plans on going out of state or moving. The demands also encompass communications with out-of-state healthcare organizations, including QMed in Georgia, Seattle Children's Hospital, and Plume. Previous reports have revealed similar civil investigative demands issued to these out-of-state healthcare providers, seeking information on all patients from Texas who have received their gender-affirming care in Washington State at Seattle Children’s Hospitals. Seattle Children's Hospital, in a legal response, argued that such care, conducted entirely within the state of Washington, falls outside Texas's jurisdiction. It further contended that Washington has a shield law prohibiting the sharing of protected private information related to transgender and abortion care with out-of-state entities. That lawsuit is still ongoing. This is not the first attempt by Attorney General Ken Paxton to identify transgender people in the state. The filing points to a previous attempt to “compile a list of individuals who had changed their their gender” on Texas driver’s licenses. This is part of a “pattern of seeking identifying information about anyone who is transgender in Texas,” according to the filing. PFLAG National alleges that the demands are an "overly broad, unreasonably burdensome fishing expedition” that violates its member’s rights to freedom of petition, association, speech, and assembly. It also alleges that they are a violation of prohibitions on unjustified searches and seizures, and that the use of civil investigative demands are an attempt to get around judicial decisions that have blocked Paxton from making similar requests in ongoing court fights. The organization also alleges retaliation for standing up for transgender families in the state. “These Demands are a clear and unmistakable overreach by the OAG in retaliation for PFLAG successfully standing up for its members, who include Texas transgender youth and their families, against the OAG’s, the Attorney General’s, and the State of Texas’s relentless campaign to persecute Texas trans youth and their loving parents,” the filing reads. In an interview with Mandy Giles, founder of Parents of Trans Youth and former PFLAG Houston president, she concurs with the allegation of retaliation, stating, “Paxton would retaliate against PFLAG… the families can’t defend themselves. They are too scared to be visible. They can’t fight back, they can’t fight for their kids, they can’t fight for themselves, or their trans loved ones. When PFLAG stepped up to help, it was a saving grace. To have them be attacked this way feels like we all are getting attacked.” When asked about the specific demands for contingency plans, she paused to collect herself, stating, “This is the families worst fear… that something that was offered to them for protection could come back and hurt them…. the nerve of Paxton asking for families escape plans when he was the reason they were escaping.” Sadie Hernandez, communications manager for Transgender Education Network of Texas, stated that while Paxton was targeting transgender people now, the methods overlap with other fights in the state for reproductive healthcare and bodily autonomy. “The way they are coming after trans folks has been seen in the way they are going after abortion rights. We have an idea of what is in their playbook.” She also emphasized the unique impacts these enforcement efforts have on marginalized communities within the trans community, such as undocumented immigrants, “When we talk about folks disproportionately impacted, immigrant and undocumented trans folks who can’t leave the state, or if you are in a border checkpoint can’t even leave the area to receive any kind of gender-affirming care…there will be a lot of folks left out of being able to access care.” Responding to the Lawsuit, Lambda Legal Senior Counsel and Director of Constitutional Law Practice Karen Loewy stated, “The Attorney General’s demand of PFLAG National is just another attempt to scare Texas families with transgender adolescents into abandoning their rights and smacks of retaliation against PFLAG National for standing up for those families against the State’s persecution.But PFLAG members’ rights to join together for mutual support, community, and encouragement are strong and we will fight to protect them.” PFLAG National is represented in the case by Lambda Legal, the ACLU and the ACLU of Texas, The Transgender Law Center, and Arnold & Porter Kaye Scholer LLP. The Transgender Education Network of Texas provided several funds that they work with, including the Frontera Fund, Fund Texas Choice, TEA Fund, Avow, and Lilith Fund. ::: --- The stupidest part is where they make leaving your shitty ass state feel illegal. What are we, serfs?
:cc any comrades want to float me enough BTC to start trading on bisq so I can buy my own?
# Introduction This journey is dedicated to the tremendous healing, vitality, creativity, and passion embodied in queer people. It is a journey of self-discovery for people who believe life beyond the cishet norm is a cause for celebration! You are beautiful. You are worthy of love and no matter how alienated and oppressed we are by capitalism, we have the duty to give it to ourselves. Queer self-love is resistance to capitalism. This group is a guided journaling practice for queer people to work towards self-acceptance, self-understanding and empowerment to live openly. I intend to explore my gender identity, but this group is open to cis people looking for greater security in non-heterosexual sexuality. The framework is loosely adapted from the book 'Gay Spirit Warrior' by John R. Stowe. Pacing and overall structure is at the discretion of the group! # Week 2: Early Beliefs This week is dedicated to examining the origins of our internalized beliefs about sexuality and gender & killing the cop inside our head (reprogramming our inner critic). Take them at the pace that makes sense for you! Also please reach out to support and help other people reflect and interpret their own answers. This is meant to be personal reflection but also community building. ::: spoiler **Introduction** When we're young, we unreservedly look to adults to tell us about life. "This is a tree. The color of the sky is blue. You are a woman. Woman like men." and so on. These words and the wider world are a mirror we search dilligently for what it tells us about ourself. Unfortunately for most queer people, the mirror is often warped and skewed. If we were very lucky, we had some of our family to support us, a lesbian aunt to serve as a role model, or a trans neighbor to show us 'hey its something else out here!' But most of us aren't that lucky, and not even the most supportive family can change the messages of the patriarchal culture at large. Most of the messaging we receive supports the belief that we are broken or flawed in some way. Even as we start to accept ourselves, much of this messaging lives on as internalized queerphobia. As we begin journalling this week, you might ask "why stir up old negatives?" The answer is that these beliefs are the underpinning of our internalized ideology around queerness. Because they act as a mental filter to our perceptions, our beliefs end up being self-fulfilling. This is true regardless of whether we have conscious awareness of them or not, but only through conscious awareness can we begin to struggle against corrosive beliefs. Just about everyone has some amount of internalized negative beliefs. Let's get empowered and liberate ourselves from them! Take the initiative to hunt out the negatives! Actively shape your beliefs! Dare to struggle, dare to win! Gay is good! ::: ::: spoiler **Early Beliefs** # Exercise 1: Unconcious Negatives—Taking Inventory *A) 'Being Queer is...'* We're going to start by trying to examine our unconscious beliefs about queerness. Using whatever language makes the most sense to you, label a notebook page or word document 1-10 then complete the sentence *'Being Queer is...'*. If queer isn't how you describe yourself, use what language fits best. Write as quickly as you can and put down whatever comes up. Your mind will try to edit every word to make your responses acceptable. You're looking for what your really believe, which won't always be positive, consistent, or affirming. The best way to beat your inner censor is to write so quickly you don't have time to think. If you're really spitting, keep going after the tenth sentence! *B) 'Because I'm Queer, I can't....'* Repeat the exercise above, this time using the sentence 'Because I'm Queer, I can't....' When you finish, read the lists over. Put a mark by each statement you consider negative. Resist the urge to judge or critique yourself. Just because you harbor negative thoughts, you are not a bad person or queerphobic! Uncovering your hidden negatives will allow you to push past them. # Exercise 2) Role Models Take a little while to reflect on your life and your early queer role models. Where did you learn what it meant to be gay, to be bi, to be ace, to be trans? ::: ::: spoiler **Kill the Cop in your Head! Retraining your Inner Critic** Often, internalized queerphobia takes on a life and voice of its own. For this discussion, we will personify this voice as your Inner Critic. For most people, the Inner Critic is maladaptive adaptation to protect us from the perceived dangers of being queer. This is what is operative when we tell ourselves things like 'that guy will never like you because...' or 'I'll never be a **real** ____ because of my ____' Your Inner Critic fights dirty. Because they know you so well, they will always hit below the belt. Their accusations are usually slippery—vague enough to be hard to disprove, while containing enough (perceived) truth to feel weighty. When we were young, we learned to maintain a high degree of vigilance in self-defense to protect us from social pressure or violence for our deviance from patriarchal gender and sexual norms. Deep inside, we record every correction or reprimand aimed at us from peers, parents, and other authority figures. We learned to watch out and police how we held our bodies, how our eyes lingered, how our voices sounded. This vigilance may have helped us survive, but it can also inhibit us from living in liberated queer joy and self-acceptance. As Mao exhorts us 'No investigation, no right to speak'. In the first exercise, we will begin by examining our self-critical beliefs. In the second, we will begin their re-education. *Exercise 1) Taunt the Critic Out* This one works best on paper. On a blank page, draw a column that takes up a third of the page. In the larger part, begin writing some variation of the following affirmation at least ten times 'Being Queer is natural and good.' If this statement doesn't make your heart jump with excitement, revise it to one that resonates with your goals and journey. As you write, over and over as quickly as you can, listen to what starts bubbling up in the back of your mind—comments, rejections, protests, criticism, editorializing. You might hear 'yeah, right' or 'so what? I'll never fit in even if I embrace this.' Whatever comes up, write it immediately in the right-hand column and keep trucking. Don't judge or argue. Just get as much down as you can. When you finish, compare what's left with your unconcious negatives from the previous exercise and see what patterns come up or what statements are really striking or cutting. These are the most incisive statements your Inner Critic uses to control/inhibit you. If time permits, spend some time trying to interrogate where each of these statements come from. Did someone tell you these things growing up? Did you read it? Don't worry if there isn't an answer for some of these. You don't need to find the origin to release them, but the insight can be helpful! **The goal of this exercise is not to find someone to blame, but to examine and release—ultimately you are the person carrying these beliefs** **Alternate mantra suggestions** I am a trans man and that is beautiful. Ace is good. I love my queer soul. *Exercise 2: Write Your Own Script* A key step in escaping the Inner Critic is to create an alternative, liberatory framework from their oppression. Let's assemble beliefs that support us to supplant our internalized queerphobia. Begin by writing "I'm willing to replace negative beliefs with new ones that support my actualization and queer joy." Similar to how we reframed our challenges as goals in week one, come up with a positive alternative to each of the core critiques brought up in your early beliefs or investigation into your Inner Critic. For example, I struggle with the belief "I will never embody **real femininity.**" I am working to supplant this belief with the belief "My femininity is an authentic and real part of myself (whether or not I feel safe to express it)". Make your new words enthusiastic and positive. Add any positive beliefs that came up earlier to the new list you are forming. Read the list aloud to yourself. How does it make you feel? If you need to revise anything, do it now! ::: ::: spoiler **Conclusion** Be patient with yourself. Letting your new scripts supplant your self-criticism and internalized queerphobia takes time. Making your affirmations a working part of your consciousness and understanding takes time and effort. Two factors help us install these new ideas more effectively. The first is repetition of the new mantras. Try to make time to actively reflect and apply the new beliefs to your self understanding. Repeat the affirmations you developed to yourself. The second, remember that the part of our mind we are accessing is not rational. While we can logically understand and apply a queer liberatory framework, we need to have grace for when it is not fully internalized. Be creative! Be playful and silly in finding ways to practice the new beliefs you are working to build and instill into yourself. Make little posters, Make songs. Look in the mirror and hit on yourself if that's your thing. ::: ::: spoiler **Optional Exercise: Policing the Cop in Your Head** This exercise is intended to help you realize how superficial and repetitive your inner policeman is. Create a dedicated space (digital or on paper) to record what your Inner Critic is saying. Then whenever you notice that you're self-bashing, acknowledge the Critic. "Oh, hi Critic. Back on the bullshit? So, whaddya gotta say this time?" Give them their say. In your running Critic's Corner, write down whatever it wants to tell you. You don't have to believe it. After the first few times, you'll see the the Critic is pretty much a broken record. Instead of writing out what it has to say each time, you can just put a tally next to the relevant passage from the last time. The Critic is a paper tiger! Putting it under the spotlight will let you see how flimsy it is. ::: In the spirit of TC_69, I love my trans and queer comrades! 
Dear all, I am inspired by how much thought and reflection folks put in last week! With Valentine's day tomorrow I got a bit caught up making a scavenger hunt and will have the second post out Thursday evening. In the meantime, please use this thread for any feedback or reflections you have had so far :)
A great piece by Julia Serano on 'male socialization', and misunderstandings about transmisogyny.
cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/1673097 > I'm confused where I should consistently posting things and it makes it harder to have a mega. Maybe one could be more slice of life, and the other more theoretical/political? Personally I would like both in one place.
I'm about to buy my first chest binder  Anything I should know regarding health and safety? I live in a very hot and humid part of the country and am a little nervous that it will make me pass out or will damage my body in some way. Any advice? Will it increase the risk of breast cancer?
# Norsk **Én enbe** / flere enber / den enben / disse enbene -- fornorsking av engelsk *enby*, fra bokstavene NB for *non-binary*. >Gabriel kom ut av skapet som enbe ifjor. Jeg alltid syntes enber var kule, så jeg er glad at jeg har en enbe i familien nå. **Én 'ke-bi** / flere 'ke-bi'er / den 'ke-bi'en / disse 'ke-bi'ene -- de midtre stavelsene i *ikke-binær*. Kan også skrives *kebbyer*, *'kkjebi-ene*, bl.a., basert på egen preferanse. >Gabriel kom ut av skapet som 'ke-bi ifjor. Jeg alltid syntes 'ke-bi'er var kule, så jeg er glad at jeg har en 'ke-bi i familien nå. **Én såvider** / flere såvidere / den såvideren / disse såviderene -- ordspill på "menn, kvinner, og så videre". Kan forkortes til *såvi*, *såvy*, eller *såve*. >Gabriel kom ut av skapet som såvider ifjor. Jeg alltid syntes såvidere var kule, så jeg er glad at jeg har en såvider i familien nå. Hva synes dere? Har dere noen andre forslag? Vil dere se mine andre idéer som jeg var mindre glad i? Tror dere at *ikke-binær* er bra nok for daglig kommunikasjon og at vi derfor trenger ikke et nytt ord? Om dere snakker andre språk enn norsk og engelsk, hvordan løser dere dette problemet i deres språk? ___ # English Example sentence: >Gabriel came out of the closet as enby last year. I always thought enbies were cool, so I'm glad I have an enby in my family now. **One *enbe*** (indefinite singular; masculine or common) / many *enber* (indefinite plural) / that *enben* (definite singular) / these *enbene* (definite plural) -- Norwegianization of English *enby*, from the letters NB for *non-binary*. **One *'ke-bi*** (masculine or common) / many *'ke-bi'er* / that *'ke-bi'en* / these *'ke-bi'ene* -- from the middle syllables of *ikke-binær* (non-binary). Variant spellings include *kebbyer* (fully regularized), *'kkjebi-ene* (nynorsk, double K, no internal hyphen, a hyphen rather than an apostrophe for the suffix), among others, depending on preference. **One *såvider*** (masculine or common) / many *såvidere* / that *såvideren* / these *såviderene* -- a play on "menn, kvinner, og så videre" ("men, women, and so forth" or "...et cetera"), by treating *så videre* as the indefinite plural of a noun ending in -er rather than as *så* (so) + the comparative of *vid* (wide), which in this context means "further". *Såvider* may be clipped to *såvi*, *såvy*, or *såve*. What do you think? Do you have any other suggestions? Would you like to see my ideas that I was less fond of? Do you think the phrase *ikke-binær* is good enough for daily communication and we therefore don't need a new word? If you speak a language other than Norwegian and English, how do you solve this problem in your languages?
All in all, I'm comfortable with the word "man". I'm comfortable with the masculine aspects of my body as well. I mean, instead of being fat I'd like to look like this guy  (Daisuke Sekimoto) But thats not a gender thing. And i dont have much desire to fuck with my gender expression. Im fine in "masculine clothes". Maybe like, eyeliner or something. But these days im mostly an autistic comfy pilled guy who wears loose fitting tshirts and comfy gym pants.  And i have absolutely no interest in estrogen. Im not, however, comfortable with the whole masculinity package. There are many things that discomfort me about that. But the question is. Do i want to express "positive manhood", or am I a demiman? Expressing positive manhood around the kids at my old job always made me feel good. Showing unconditional love, showing them how they deserve to be treated as man, and the boys that men can be gentle and loving. But i could do all that as a demiman too of course. If i did decide that was my id, id never tell anyone offline other than maybe my enby cousin. Noone else in my family is ready for nonbinary genders lol. And ive lost touch with my irl friendgroup. I told these feelings to one of my two irl transfemme friends. But she friend dumped me over a stupid misunderstanding. Locking me off from my only irl political radical friend, along with the people she introduced me to. And my other irl transfemme friend is kinda truscummy and probably wouldnt get it. So in a way. I wouldnt "live as a demiman" in any real way, at least offline. Unless i made an effort to get out there and make some radical queer friends. Oh, and full disclosure. There are two "eggy" things about me 1. My desire to shapeshift. This is mostly a sex thing though. Id not want to "live life in a womans body", just bang femme attracted people. 2. I feel a strong kinship with lesbians. I like lesbians memes (though apparently a lot of cis femme attracted people do). I like lesbians and wlw in general. I often feel a desire for my attraction to women to feel gay. Felt a strong connection to "let straight guys be gay for women" discourse coming out of the Jocat stuff. My cis lesbian friend assures me this is just a desire to detoxify my attraction to women and "not be a creep" though. And im pretty sure thats true.
I've ended up in a few conversations recently where someone has basically said to me "I don't mind trans people I just don't get it." My response is along the line of "the body fucks up and has birth defects all the time, some people are born with a cleft lip or an extra finger or shrunken limb and some people are born with the wrong genitals and hormones. Theres no real difference and you certainly would support a blind person getting their eyes fixed so of course you should support transpeople getting their genitals fixed." So far for most of the people I've talked too this has been like a light bulb going on. However I don't currently have any irl trans friends to bounce this off of and I want to make sure I'm not being an idiot and framing it in an offensive way or missing something I should really be adding to the conversation.
It can be modern but no dry boring bullshit where they interview a bunch of academics.
For those of us who get a tinge of satisfaction whenever cis people desperately try to drown out the cognitive dissonance caused by their intuitive understanding that we are not men, by loudly misgendering us despite that necessarily being differential treatment on the basis of gender, I present: ʜ̴ᴇ̶/ʜ̴ɪ̷ᴍ̸/ʜ̵ɪ̴ꜱ̷/ʜ̴ɪ̷ᴍ̷ꜱ̴ᴇ̷ʟ̴ꜰ̴ —That's right, he/him but it's written in small caps with zalgo diacritics. This pronoun set is pronounced like he/him but with a hateful emphatic snarl. So now the transphobes can only misgender you by referring to you as he/him without any emphasis at all. Can they actually manage to do that? Probably not! And on the contrary, you can also have some fun by making your supportive cis friends look like absolute assholes, when you show up presenting fem while they insist on calling you "ʜ̴ɪ̷ᴍ̸". An example: >This is Erika. I met ʜ̴ɪ̷ᴍ̸ the other day: ʜ̴ᴇ̶ seems to be some sort of weird "angel-gender" commie, and ʜ̵ɪ̴ꜱ̷ interests include teaching ʜ̴ɪ̷ᴍ̷ꜱ̴ᴇ̷ʟ̴ꜰ̴ languages. ___ On the other hand, for those of us who've experienced some performative ally lib constantly using only they/them for us, despite us never going by they/them, clearly because that performative ally wants to erase our identities and distance thonself from the fact that thon actually knows a trans person and can no longer hide behind an idea that trans people are some sort of abstract concept, I present: Tʜᴇʏ/Tʜᴇᴍ/Tʜᴇɪʀ/Tʜᴇɪʀꜱ/Tʜᴇᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ —Yes, they/them in small caps with a big T. This pronoun set is pronounced like they/them with a devoiced "th", as in "thick and thin". It will sound clearly jarring and awkward every time it's used. So now if any cis lib is trying to degender you, you can loudly insist that it's pronounced /θej/ and not /ðej/. An example: >This is Erika. I met Tʜᴇᴍ the other day: Tʜᴇʏ seem to be some sort of weird "angel-gender" commie, and Tʜᴇɪʀ interests include teaching Tʜᴇᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ languages.
(sorry if this is the wrong community) Mostly I keep to myself online, but I decide to take ONE photo of myself for femboy friday; Groomers and Chasers are already in my DMs asking for degrading shit and NSFW things. Every single goddamn thing in the reddit community is sexualized: Gay black men on "shitposting" subs, trans, non-binary and femboy folks on 196, 196 offshoots, and in general, women in most mainstream communities and anything involving pictures... Complete fetishization of human beings without regard, and what really pisses me off is I fell for a groomer (now blocked,) and it was just a really fucked up past two hours 😰 (I won't go into detail because I am really grossed out and ashamed and feel dirty) I just want to feel comfortable, have affirmation for who I am, not be lonely, or FUCKING GROOMED!🤬 End of rant I guess... How could we fucking kill this type of culture?😡
youtu.be
cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/1228516 > well-written analysis of the trans experience and the weird shit that goes on in the heads of repressed trans people.
Marin Miller is a non-binary voice actor that has worked as characters of both genders since 2006. In addition to acting, Marin also works on pre-production for localization projects, which feeds their passion for writing, travel and learning new languages. Their time in the entertainment industry has also found them work as a game journalist, theme park character, convention agent, and writer. They are married to Martin Billany, a.k.a LittleKuriboh himself. Notable roles: -Abyss Razor in Mashle: Magic and Muscles -Alecto, Athena and Tisiphone in Hades -Ally Awesome on Doc McStuffins -Amanda O'Neill in Little Witch Academia -Bridge and Unit 6273/"Victoria" in Cannon Busters -Enkidu and Kingu in Fate/Grand Order - Absolute Demonic Front: Babylonia and Fate/strange Fake -Fiora in Fire Emblem Heroes -Flame and Malicorne De Grandple in The Familiar of Zero (Season 1 Only) -Young Fujio in Tokyo Zombie -Gloxinia in The Seven Deadly Sins -Grace Lynn in The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel IV -Izanami in B: The Beginning -Jakotsumaru in Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon -Kai in The Snow Queen (2012) -Young Kiritsugu Emiya in Fate/Zero -Kizuna in TOMEnote -Kyosuke Kamijo in Puella Magi Madoka Magica -Magna, Qoo, and Popo in Tweeny Witches -Mitsuru "Mossan" Motoyama in FLCL Alternative -Nimbus in Destiny 2: Lightfall -Olly and Anwar in Avalon Code -Phantoma in Hells -Recon in Sword Art Online -Satoshi Honma in Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day -Ranger Captain Skip in Cassette Beasts -Yuta Matsumoto in Squid Girl -Yuuno Scrya in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha A's At some point in their life, Marin had the entirety of Shrek memorized, and would go on to perform as Shrek at Universal Studios Hollywood (one of only two AFAB people to take on the costume). So far Marin has written a pilot, a book, and is working on a movie script. Marin's favorite game series are Ace Attorney and Dragon Age. Marin dreams of working on an Alex Garland or Jordan Peele project one day.  
Hey all I was hoping for some advice on acquiring low cost injection supplies for my hrt. I last bought them in bulk before the pandemic, and I am only now just running out, and I am finding it incredibly hard to find what I need. I use 1ml luer lock syringes with 1.5in 23g injection needles and 1in 18g draw needles. The one place I have found them readily available is Amazon, I know boo hiss. They are specifically listed as non medical, but they strangely say that they are rated for vetinary usage. Like are thos safe to buy? I have found some, moderately priced, through a dental supply company but I would like to buy a stockpile just in case. Yall have any insight or advice?
Trans people deserve love, you in particular. Sorry to make an entire post for this, it's just I want to yell about it from the rooftops and all I have is a website for posting hexagonal bears
Every single woman I've been with since coming out as a lesbian, and being a woman, has treated me more masculine than I wanted them to. But the most recent date was something truly special. I was expected to act more masculine by her than by any straight woman I had ever been with pre transition. She really thought I was her boyfriend. She did all of the classic things that f4m do on dates. She tried to attract my attention while simultaneously not looking at me or doing anything to make me feel wanted, let alone pretty. She moved away from my touch because she liked the feeling of me pulling her in. She let down her walls and expected me to pounce on her. At the end of our first date I told her how much I identify with femininity and hoped a second date would go better. It didn't go better. And worst of all, she was trans! She absolutely no interest in my femininity while being a trans woman on a date with a trans woman! I trusted her because of our shared experiences and she made me feel dysphoric. Part of this comes from me retaining a more masculine kind of physicality and attraction. I'm very visual and can get horny very quickly. My body can't hide its attraction either, people can tell when I want them. My experience of women is extra intense, and so is the way that I naturally kiss and touch them. Women really want to see me "take" them, and when I don't they think I'm innocent and infantilize me. They don't realize I have absolute control over myself and won't do a damn thing unless I feel safe. Because expressing anything masculine as a trans woman makes me feel vulnerable. Nothing feels worse than doing everything you can to make someone else feel pretty and beautiful and them not giving anything back. Not to mention how all this makes me feel like a threat to women, giving me intense paranoia around being seen that way. People see me, 6'4, confident, cock, and make miles of assumptions about what I want. They stroke my ego instead of making me feel pretty. They expect me to take control. But, I don't want them to! My ideal partner is literally someone who makes me feel safe, taken care of, is affectionate, and tells me what to do! Being expected to take control by 80% of the people who are attracted to me stresses me the hell out! The physicality that makes them want me to take control is the same one that makes me want to give them control. If I just focus on doing what I'm told then I know I won't hurt anyone, and I won't get overwhelmed by experiencing their beauty and having to make decisions. It feels like I'm not pretty enough for anyone to value that over my masculine traits. So that's how I get treated. Almost all of the women I've been with are bi. I think they find me attractive as a man and not a woman. I should really try and meet more lesbians but I think they find me threatening. Bi women are more used to people who experience attraction like I do, even if I see mine as nearly incomparable to men's. I'd love to meet another trans lesbian, as I literally never have, but we're probably 0.1% of the population. Also I've had FFS, done voicework, done laser hair removal. I'm totally cis passing, even at 6'4. I can't imagine what this would be like if I was still early transition. All I can change is getting more feminine clothes, and doing more makeup. TLDR: I've been depressed and dysphoric since a date last weekend where I was treated like a boyfriend. I'm struggling to express my sexuality amidst a sea of people who can't look past my height and genitals. I'm genuinely so torn up and its been so hard getting out of bed knowing that nobody wants me to feel pretty. 
Asking for a friend who is skeptical abou “performance”
Setting aside that you don't even need these levels unless something is clearly not going as desired, saliva and urine tests do exist but no doctors seem to even be aware of this. Unlimited genocide on gatekeeper endocrinologists. They can never find a vein on me so I just have to stew for an hour as they poke and prod me unsuccessfully until either I or the lab tech gives up and they tell me they're not going to refill my prescription without a blood test. JUST FUCKING REFILL IT, IT'S NOT EVEN MY FAULT, WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME FOR THIS!
I transitioned to ftm over ten years ago and I thought I was done with the gender stuff. I transitioned really well, I look like a cis-bear, and I have a beard that other guys get envious over. Socially and emotionally tho? Something was wrong. I thought I was done but the more I tried fitting into that role, the worse I felt. I was taking the doctors suggested amount of testosterone, I looked passing, but I just wasn't fitting in. I felt more like myself, and at the same time I feel like I lost something. Like my ability to read a room and to have creative flexibility. I started feeling clogged. Like parts of me were shut behind a barrier. Then, thanks to "cool healthcare" I lost access to my testosterone temporarily. It was obnoxious at first, but after a few days I started feeling great. More relaxed, more creative, more open to other people. More like- myself???? Uh oh. Then it hit me- I've been stuck in dysphoria for ages. I just didn't notice because the dysphoria prior to T was so much worse. I still see myself as a man, but I want to be a funny little guy and not a beef boy. Anyone else have an experience like this?